Should I stay with my boyfriend or break up with him to move to my hometown?

I hope this question doesn’t come across as me being selfish. I’m 22 years old and I’ve been dating my boyfriend Chris for almost 3 years. I love him so much and I have no complaints about him...except for the fact that he is unwilling to move.

I moved to NY from MA for my ex who I thought I loved when I was 18. Things didn’t work out, so right after we broke up with him me and Chris started dating and have been together ever since. The problem is though that I work a job I hate, I never went to school, and I have made literally no friends after 4 years of living in NY. I have asked Chris many times if he’d be willing to move, but hes worried about finding a good job and about being away from his family, which I understand because I did the same thing when I left MA. But Im literally so unhappy in NY and I feel like hes unwilling to compromise.

Now Im here in my hometown for vacation (without Chris) just visiting friends and family, and I’m starting to realize how lonely I am in NY, even though I have a loving boyfriend! I dont really want to break up with him because we do have a strong relationship and I do love him and could see myself marrying him. But I also don’t want to tie myself down at 22 (Chris is 29) and I’m also sick of being depressed in NY with no friends or family nearby. Should I break up with Chris in pursuit of being close to friends and family, or should I bite the bullet and stay with someone who I know is good for me even though I’m lonely and depressed.

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    My aunt moved to Dubai from London to be with her family and to find work, so she broke up with her boyfriend in London. He was so in love with her that he just moved to Dubai on his own, with literally zero family there whatsoever (this is an entirely different continent) and job-hunted for months, just to be with her. They're married now.

    If he really loved you and you were the woman of his dreams then he will move mountains to be with you. I know it sounds old-fashioned but it's the man's role to be proving his devotion to you - not the other way round. You should do what you want and see what he does.

  • Elicia
    Lv 4
    4 months ago

    If you're lonely and depressed, eventually it will hurt your relationship anyway. What if you stay with him for 10 years and start a family with him and then crap hits the fan and you guys break up? You'll have only invested mostly into your relationship with him and not others that you would have held onto such as friendships... and then school. Is school more feasible if you go back to MA? You sound disappointed you didn't go yet.

    • Elicia
      Lv 4
      4 months agoReport

      You don't have to answer to anyone but the Man Upstairs and yourself on this decision. You are the one who has to live your life. Wishing you the best!

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