Why did my ex admit im the one after I married someone else?

I was crazy about this guy for yesrs...we dated on and off and in the end we just were over and met other people but stayed friends..... but then i met my husband and i cut contact with him. Years later we reconnect on social media and then years later we chat and he admits he was foolish to have let me go and that i was the only 1 for him. Hes not asking me of anything but ever since that, my mind is f*cked up. I feel nostalgic of him ever now and then. I have 3 kids. My husband is a great guy even though every marriage has its faults...i still find myself fantasizing about my ex. I havent seen him in 8 years. Why do men do this.

12 Answers

Relevance
  • David
    Lv 6
    5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, every person (man or woman) has to seriously date about 13 people...

    And I'm not talking about short-term flings or Summer romances...

    We each need to date about 13 people to gather the experience we need to be able to figure out what attributes we need in a life partner or husband / wife. Each relationship we have, we learn from that. Whether it was good or bad, we LEARN something. Over time, we use these experiences to figure out what exactly we need in a partner, to keep us truly happy. When you are young (say teens, 20s), it's possible to fall in love. But that's a dangerous trap. If you get married so young,, then you are literally gambling. You don't know what you need in a a partner yet, so you should not be making a commitment.

    By the time we get to our mid-30s or mid-40s even, we finally (FINALLY) have enough dating experience that now we are pretty confident we know what we need in a lifetime partner. And that confidence is based on EXPERIENCE.

    When you reach that "sweet spot" where NOW you know what you need and you have the self-confidence to go out there and pursue it...

    Some very few of us look back into our past relationships and realize...

    OH CRAP!!!! The girl I was looking for my whole life was exactly like the one I dumped when I was 22...

    Yes, it happens. Sometimes, purely by accident, you meet and date somebody who is sooooooo.....right for you. But she might not be right for you until you realize yourself what you need....

    Now, why did your ex admit that you are the one after you married someone else? Bad timing. By the time he figured out you were the one, you were already taken. It happens every day, probably millions of times a day....

    S*cks to be him. There's nothing you can do about it, though. You chose your own path...

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 5 months ago

    I can't answer why "men do this", but I can recommend, very strongly, that you permanently end all contact with your former boyfriend. You do not need to stir up old feelings, and in truth, your contact with your old lover is really a form of cheating , even if you haven't been with him in person . It will only mess things up further , if you continue to connect with him. You will only hurt your spouse as well as yourself, if you keep contacting your old boyfriend. Its past. Its done. Let him go, make it clear that you no longer will have any further communication with him, wish him well, and close it down.

    • Annie5 months agoReport

      You are right but the chances of ever seeing him are zero since we each live in different countries.. it is just a brain **** at times. We rarely ever talk. I left alot of details out but i didnt wanna make the question too long.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Women do it too and it's, as you aptly reckon, nostalgia. He's not remembering the volatile chemical reaction between you two that caused constant fights. He's just remember how good the make up sex was. He's not viewing the past in 360 degrees and he's being grossly inappropriate. Just tell him you're happy and he needs to knock it off.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 5 months ago

    "Men" don't do this, one particular man did this to you. As for why, how the hell would we know when we don't know him at all, in any way whatsoever? No offense, but is that really your question here, or are you just venting?

    • Annie5 months agoReport

      You dont need to know him. It happens often that people want what they cant have. Wording may be off because i wrote it fast. This is more of a psychological question not a personal one. Duh

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    From the 1946 movie "Tomorrow is Forever" - "This is the truth. If you want to stop living in the present you can reach into the past but you'll never get back what you lost. You only lose what you have in the present."

    There is a reason that you two did not end up together. You are a different person than you were 8 years ago. Your husband manned up. Your husband is the one that committed. Your husband is the one that wanted children with you. Your ex didn't. It won't be better with him. He was feeling nostalgic and probably hoped you were single. Close the door on this one.

    • Annie5 months agoReport

      Thanks! Helpful

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Por que Os homens fazem isto? Lol...lol

    Você é uma santa que não fantasia nada sobre o passado....

    Tenho pena de seu marido.

    Por que as mulheres fazem o que você está fazendo???

    Casada e com saudades do ex. Que coisa horrível!!!!!

    • Annie5 months agoReport

      não julgue o que você não sabe nada. da próxima vez em inglês por favor! 😂❤

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 5 months ago

    Often we are led to fancy some imaginary relationship - when we need to protect the relationship we have. And our imaginary relationship if we were to act on it would destroy the relationship we actually have. So it is best to guard our thoughts against such day dreaming as the imaginary one is really a nightmare if we were to get into it for real. If you have trouble controlling your thoughts take them to God who can help you do what is best. He's a real friend.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Rick
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    It's because he's also feeling nostalgic and remembering the good parts of the relationship he shared with you. People tend to remember the good times and forget the painful ones. It wasn't as good as he remembers it being or you'd never have parted ways. Since there are problems in your marriage, it's easy to do the same thing and that's what's happening.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • mmm
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    He wasn t ready at the time...and he realized he messed up. That s all.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Gnffnfnfnfnfnfnfnfnngngngngn

    • Annie5 months agoReport

      So helpful !

    • Log in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.