I think you are trying to become a swan when you were not even born a duckling! Ever hear of the scripture, "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these"........ I think you have an odd perception of "normal life". This "life" of working and toiling for numbers in a computer is actually not all that normal of actual life! We humans have created this kind of life only in the past 50 years -- but in the thousands of years before this society, people lived life in other ways! People used to make and craft things with their own hands or get together with others to make and craft needed items. People used to get together to make soap, make quilts for blankets, they used to work together to grow food in gardens and harvest the food. People used to get together to work and cook and can jellies and preserves for food to eat in winter, people used to sew their own clothes and sew clothes for others. But YOU need to establish a NEW life and a NEW "Normal". Instead of yearning to "get a job", try getting a volunteer job, and one in particular -- at a church or sanctuary with lovely gardens around. There used to be no shame in being the person who helped keep the church clean and beautiful and keep the gardens growing. There used to be no shame in dedicating one's life to the church. Instead of praying to get a life of physical toil for money, try changing your prayer to see the world with your own eyes and become a person to whom people go to for peace in their own busy lives. I know of many churches right now needing someone to volunteer to replant the plants and flowers around the church buildings. There are needs for volunteers to help clean the cemetery and replant flowers among the graves, there is a need for volunteers to go weekly and help weed the plants and plant new flowers and cut the flowers and arrange them into vases for decorating the sanctuary. Instead of just praying for your anxiety to go away, pray for physical stamina to go back to the church and become someone who waters the flowers. And while you are there, pray for peace in your soul, but, dedicate even this physical torture to Him. As for the dizziness, I would have your inner ear checked. Dizziness is caused by an imbalance of fluids or blockage of fluids in your inner ear. It may be you have your inner ear tubes blocked or clogged up. A simple cure is to use something called "Swimmer's Ear" ear drops - a simple mix of baby oil, rubbing alcohol, and saline solution. Even if you are not feeling earache pain, try a drop of ear drops in your ears each night at bedtime, first the right ear for two weeks, and then the left ear for two weeks. Also clear out your nose of nasal allergies. And I and telling you - it takes time. I was at church one day after swimming for two weeks straight at the college pool, and I had something rattle in my ear, and a ball of wax the size of a pea dropped out. It is summertime! Sign up for a swim class or go to the health club and sign up for swimming. Anxiety can be conquered in small steps, but the biggest hurdles are going back the 3rd, 4th, and 5th day! Clean out your ears with an ear drop in one ear and then the other for 4 weeks straight. When you feel your inner ears draining inside your head and your nose and ear canals draining, it means your dizziness will ease and things will normalize. But, even with your disability, do not make it a shameful thing to be a volunteer at the church. I know of a pastor who just took over a 100-year-old church building and needs all the help he can get cleaning, painting, and planting new gardens. There is no shame in helping being the one who waters the flowers at the church. If that is what you can do, make it a thing of personal pride and not a shameful thing. It's what I do, by the way! I take the time to water and maintain the potted plants around the church building -- I could use some help! I would be happy to have you come two days a week and hold the hose and water the plants while I replant some flowers or do the weeding! What I am saying is, instead of seeking to become valuable by making yourself like every other flunky with a job, you make yourself valuable by doing what is needed and valued. Most churches and church buildings need volunteers to clean the bathrooms and vacuum floors after the services, help with the rummage sales, help with the dusting and building maintenance, and the gardens. Take a first step in becoming a volunteer, and pray at the church as you work along. Make your prayers be also for others instead of just you as you work to make the gardens grow. Then, in a few months, get back to me in the comment section of this question and let me know if anything has changed. Me, I need to separate some lily plants from a huge plant a lady gave me the other day, and it is 100 degrees outside. And I need to sew a quilt binding to a quilt I made for another church volunteer. And I need to sit at my sewing machine and sew the pieces together for another quilt. I need to get off the computer now and get my day going. Clean out your ears and when the dizziness lessens, go and volunteer for a church and be brave and work on your anxiety. The conquering of fear is facing it, not daily hiding from it. Go and be brave and conquer small steps, and in a year you will have traveled a longer way than you realize. Good luck, but GO and DO and it will happen to you.