First, you are not alone. There are people with similar issues, and there are people with different issues, but they are also hurting and need a hug, at the very least. I also want you to know that nothing you wrote about is insurmountable. Look at things as a detour or an obstacle, but not a dead end. I wish I could have talked to my teen self and told her these things. I had a difficult childhood and really couldn't see a time when things would be different, but things did change after I left home. I still had things to deal with, but I suddenly saw that life gave me choices. For example, you may not be able to have children, but you still have choices: adopt, foster, be someone's favorite aunt or uncle (sorry, I'm not sure if you're male or female), or choose not to have children and enjoy life without all of those responsibilities. Travel, further your education, have several hobbies, start a business, and so on. There's so much you can do with extra time and money, if you're childless. haha At any rate, I encourage you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and talk to yourself more kindly and love yourself as you were made. The answers to all of it and your choices are broader than you might think. God bless!