Anonymous asked in HealthHealth & Well-BeingOther - General Health Care · 5 months ago

21 year old man with too many regrets in life?

I'm a 21 year old man who has just finished his first year at uni.

Im currently very insecure as I feel I didn't make the most of life when I was younger. What's particularly hard for me is seeing people younger than me doing better. I admit I didn't work very hard when I was younger and wasn't passionate about education as much as I am now, and I deeply regret this.

I lived quite a sheltered life when growing up, so I always struggled with seeing my peers having more freedom. What's hard now is i still feel sheltered at home and I'm seeing people who had sheltered childhoods being more successful and having more freedom than me now.

As a result, I'm now very insecure and always trying to compete with my friends over silly stuff. I also feel a lot of regret about my childhood, and resentment towards my family. I want to try and use uni as a turning point, but am finding it hard that people younger than me are doing better and I feel it's too late in life as what I'm doing "is normal".

3 Answers

  • 5 months ago

    You sound almost exactly like me...42 years ago. But you have 2 things going for you over my situation. 1) you recognized the problem early enough to do something about it, and 2) you have some higher education.

    Before you regret anything more, you need to examine what kind of job opportunities are out in the world now and what the demand for your skills will be in the future once you graduate. It doesn't look very good right now for anyone. This is why you might consider a trade school where there is always a demand for someone willing to get their hands dirty. And with the skills and a little investment, you could create your own opportunities if need be.

    And 21 years old - that's not too old. Turning 21 is when you close the door to childhood and open a new door to adulthood where you can finally make your decisions count for something.

    We all have things we'd like to change. You have a few years' worth and I have 42 years' worth. You don't want to compare notes with me - remember I wasn't smart enough to recognize the problem so I could make changes.

    Don't worry about what others are doing - go for the brass ring and ride your own horse.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Try and do the best you can and stop comparing yourself to others. Leave the past in the past and concentrate on the present and the future. We're all different, some people succeed more than others, but most of us are average and many have had not-so-great childhoods, but it's of no benefit to you and your wellbeing to keep thinking of your regrets. We all have regrets.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    At the moment, I just question the mistakes I made in my childhood. I didn't go to the best of schools either which I also regret. I feel 2 years behind as I had a difficult time during a levels and achieved nothing.

    I have a list of goals i want to achieve, but haven't achieved any of them due to circumstances or being prevented. For instance i want to go to the gym, but there are no gyms in my area.

    If ever I have kids, I never want to parent them the same way I was brought up and will make sure they never make the same mistakes I did.

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