Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 5 months ago

I feel guilty about breaking up with a guy, who was "abusing" me. Did i do the correct thing, or did I misjudge him?

Basically...

The relationship was 5-6 months old. He used to treat me like a trophy, but that's okay... All guys do that

He was verbally abusive at times... He'd always remind me how he's been such a help (which he was. He had helped me a lot). I never felt bad because of it

But, one day, he was really upset with me because I was "being a b!tch to him". I didn't understand what he meant to say, so I didn't respond . He TWISTED both my arms... He's physically stronger than me and I was so scared (we're not physically intimate...I'm saving myself for marriage, he knew that ). I felt like... He could rape me. But he didn't (Thankfully)

I've always heard "once an a abuser, always an abuser". Everyone says so. And this was clearly physical abuse

From that day, I started ignoring him. Totally. I was scared e he'd do something to me... But eventually he understood we'd broken up

I feel so guilty for having judged him for one action of his.... Am I wrong? I feel like I'm such a cruel person for doing this

37 Answers

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  • 5 months ago

    hey girl

    even tho at times it’s awesome when a guy treats u like a “trophy” or whatever (cuz u feel bad af), this usually means they don’t see u as equal. the most genuine guys just treat you like a human being. So yea, that’s usually a sign that he’s not the one. also if he lays his hands on you like 10000% leave that scrub... he’s weak, and he’s trying to manipulate u to feel guilty, don’t buy into it. stay strong

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    You’re all over the place

  • 5 months ago

    You're not wrong for leaving him. Don't let him mess with your mind and make you feel guilty. Also don't put the quotes around abuse bc he DID abuse you. He's not good for you or any woman because he doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself. Edit: The idiot disliking everyone's answer must be the ex lmao hi hi evil ex bf of the asker..too bad.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    You did the right thing

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  • 5 months ago

    Yes,you did the right thing.Thats how its done. When you are with someone new,always look for their qualities,compatibilities,incompatibilities,warning signs and red flags.If in doubt break up with them. Now you are better off.Now you can help your friends learn to do the same thing.I hope you find someone who treats you right.Good luck.

  • 5 months ago

    this is a made up story.

  • 5 months ago

    I find it amazingly curious how a victim, and you are a victim of his abuse, would feel guilty for wanting to protect themselves from continued abuse. A man who puts his hands on a woman is an angry and aggressive self absorbed idiot. Men who use any physical force on a female are boys who have unresolved resentment issues. They can only control their emotions for so long before the steam begins to build up before they explode in anger and physical force. These types of guys are dangerous.

    You should never feel guilty for leaving a guy who has used physical force on you. That is NOT misjudging him, that is realizing he is an abuser and a loser. Thank your lucky stars that you left that jerk.

  • 5 months ago

    Of course you did the correct thing. Dating is all about finding what a person is truly about and he was so unworthy of you. Too many red flags. You got out early; well dine by the way. Staying with him would only have made you unhappy in the end and his behaviour would just have got worse. You escaped a bullet there. Don't ever look back, but look forward to meeting someone who shows you more respect. Don't let a little loneliness in between stand in the way of future happiness. Good luck and take care.

  • 5 months ago

    You did the right thing. I understand that it may be hard to believe your own judgment when things have gone wrong like this, but if this is what he is like now then it would only get worse if you were hitched. Here if you need to talk. <3

  • 5 months ago

    Normal good people may sometimes say things they don't really mean when upset... but they don't hurt people the way he did. Someone who does that once will likely do it again.

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