First copy these scriptures and post them on the bathroom mirror (or someplace similar) for him to see.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1Pet 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
When he either confronts you about the passages above, or starts his abuse again, tell him something like this:
Darling, I love you, and will always do my best to be the kind of wife to you that God expects of me, but I must tell you that the way you sometimes treat me is very unloving, harsh, inconsiderate and disrespectful. I can't make you do what God says and I would get in trouble for trying to punish you for not doing what God says (ref Gen 50:15-21; Rom 12:19), so all I can do is take it and suffer. Your real issue isn't with me, but with God.
Back to me. If he continues with attempted guilt trips or whatever, don't argue or defend yourself; just repeat the above, especially the last sentence. If the above has no effect on him, go to an elder at your church and seek his advice. Good luck and God bless. Hang in there; all marriages have problems that have to be overcome. I'll be praying for you. You pray too for God's help and guidance.