We are so glad that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are in a lot of emotional pain. We would suggest using health coping skills (journaling, listening to music, etc.) and focusing on your self care (exercising, eating nutritiously, getting adequate sleep, etc.) to help you manage your depression.
It's so important that you reach out for support from a trusted adult such as a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, or minister. We would suggest getting evaluated by a medical doctor or mental health professional, and getting involved in counseling. It may help you to talk to a counselor at a hotline. Know that there is help out there for you and you are not alone.
Boys Town National Hotline 1-800-448-3000, www.yourlifeyourvoice.org