Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

I think I may have an unhealthy obsession with my crush. I would rather die single than to be with a person that’s not him!! Is that normal?

I’m a 20-year-old college student. A few weeks ago, I was studying at the library & a random guy approached me to ask for directions to a place. We ended up chatting for almost 3 hours!! I learned that he’s a math prodigy & he came to our college to do a four month internship with a prof. I was impressed to learn that he’s only my age & already doing PhD level work!! He was not only intelligent but also very humble, funny & good looking. We have the same sense of humour & also the same taste in music!! After our conversation, I felt I had met my dream guy! We exchanged numbers & said we would keep in touch! Now, I go to campus daily just to “ accidentally “ bump into him. I feel anxiety & empty when I don’t see him. I often think to myself that maybe I’m not good enough for him. I felt a sizzling chemistry with him & I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I feel like I’ll never find a guy that’ll measure up to him. I also feel that if I end up with someone else, I’ll just be settling for something less. I don’t think I will be able to have sex with a guy that’s not him or have children with a man that’s not his lol.

tl: DR I know I sound dramatic AF but my true feelings are indeed this heightened!! I’m wondering if that’s normal!! Did anybody else experience the same thing? Were u able to get over it?

4 Answers

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  • 6 months ago

    I did. I felt this way and it’s called love at first site. Unfortunately, I ended up in a relationship with him where he was like a drug to me. I needed a fix constantly. We lived together and it became toxic after awhile. Now we have been apart a year and I still have the unresolved feelings of the addition that started at hello and never went away. Sometimes these things are just cosmic. I am 40, I have never been married and I am a successful woman. Priorities were my life, until became along and he became more important then the air I would breath. My advice to you is to try to stay away from someone who you are that attracted to, because that high can’t get higher, it goes down and when it does, your crave it more and more. I don’t hurt as much as I used to, but I still dream of him, think about him and wonder everyday, what could have been. I am also in a relationship wit someone else. So, do yourself a favor. Know that high will feel good now, but when it ends it hurts like hell

  • 6 months ago

    I felt that way about someone once. I married her. So there was nothing to get over. Instead at the very least maybe you need to tell this guy that you like him. Spend some time on your confidence as well. I don't know why you might think you're not good enough for him but I can assure you of this. That decision is up to him, not you. When you fall in love with someone ( hopefully, him, I referring to) most people don't look at how smart, pretty, rich, etc. the person that they are in love with is. It's not about any of that. It's about how that person makes you feel when you are with them and how you feel when you're not. The only way he can learn that is if you spend time with him. Your thinking that you aren't good enough is the biggest barrier to that happening.

  • Amelia
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    I remember being your age and saying very similar things about a guy. A year or two later, I had the same feelings for another guy. Now I am happily married to a guy who is neither of them. I still have occasional moments when I think of either of the first two, but it just wasn t meant to be.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Yes, many young and immature people have experienced the same thing. They usually grow out of it.

    He gave you his number. Did it occur to you to call him and ask him out? You'll never know if there is actual chemistry until you spend some time with him.

    If you'd rather he remain a safe and perfect fantasy so that you can avoid the emotional risk of real life, that's fine too.

    Have a nice day, wee little troll. At least some of us recognize you.

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