Sounds like you have a rigid mindset when it comes to how things should be. You have an idealized standard, and when people fail to meet it, they are horrible in your eyes. Usually that is because of issues of control. Perhaps you feel like you don't have enough control in certain areas of your life, so you exert mental control over how you feel the world should be. I think the first step would be in realizing when you do this, and maybe reminding yourself of how the real world just isn't like that. The real world is messy, and chaotic. We humans don't like that, so we find ways to exert control over the external world. A little bit is fine, but it sounds like you know what happens when the need for control, gets out of control. Making up universal rules for people and things to follow, and getting mad when they don't. It's made up. Nature only has one rule, live long enough to pass your gene's on to future generations, otherwise survive if you can. Other than that, everything else is made up. Justice, fairness, etc. All a construct. Sure, it's nice when it works, but it will never be anything other than what we make it, and we are some flawed humans. We are animals who think we aren't, because we are clever. We're still flawed animals living in a chaotic world, trying to paint rules on a landscape that has none except the ones we all (or mostly) agree to, because the idea of chaos and uncertainty is terrifying to us. The unknown holds terrors, but the unknowable is the truth. Control is the lie.