Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 year ago

Why is monogamy the norm even though it makes literally zero sense?

5 Answers

  • 1 year ago

    By and large worldwide Male female ratio is 50 -50.So Mother Nature wants monogamy

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    In nature, whenever male parental care is required (e.g. birds), the male wants to make sure that his female does not have sex with other males because he does not want to be a cuckold and raise another male's young instead of his own. It is the same with humans, guys do not want to be cuckolds. It has not always been this way. In fact, when we first evolved as a species, we were living in social groups of multiple males and females because of safety in numbers. Under such a system, males have to cooperate with each other to fight off predators. Therefore they have to be bonded just like soldiers. If they fight among themselves for females, then when danger comes, those who have been bullied will not help out others that are attacked. Females too want to have sex with many males because it is pleasurable and because that way her babies would not be harmed by males who never had sex with her and knew that they could not be the fathers. Back then, hunters worked as a group and they share the kill, so children could be raised communally. It does not matter who the father is, they all helped out raising children born within the group, and these children can grow up and become part of group doing the hunting or gathering. Of course females in such groups usually leave to join other groups to avoid excessive inbreeding. Males can stay because they help hunt.

    Things changed when agriculture was invented. People no longer live a nomadic lifestyle and they no longer need other males to defend each other against dangerous animals. Each man can now settle down on a plot of land and grow enough to raise his own family. By disallowing his woman or women from having sex with other men, males in agricultural socities can make sure they have descendants. OTOH, humans who are still hunter gatherers continue to be promiscuous. Native Americans for example, allow women to have sex with different men when Europeans first arrived. As long as no incest was involved, native American women could have sex freely with anybody..

    Things changed again in the 60s and 70s, when birth control pills and abortions were commonly available, and people no longer have to worry about raising unwanted children. The sexual revolution allowed both men and women to have sex without worrying about pregnancy. Of course, males still do not want to be cuckolds. That has not changed since laws now make men support children that they fathered. Child support payments can be pretty hefty. Nevertheless thousands of years of enforced monogamy have also reduced the willingness of females to have sex because those females who like sex with more than one men were often killed as adultery in many societies were viewed as crimes punishable by death. Even the Bible has many examples of adulterous women being stoned to death. Nowadays, some Islamic countries still kill woman for committing adultery. In a modern society such as Brazil, a man can often get away with murder if he kills his wife because she allegedly had sex with other men. It is called honor killing. As you can see, because of natural selection, harsh punishment of adultery and the fear of cuckoldry are the reasons why monogamy have been the norm traditionally in most societies around the world that no longer practice hunter/gathering lifestyles. Even a queen could be executed for alleged adultery in England a few hundred years ago, and Princes Di was supposedly a virgin when she married Prince Charles. The reason for monogamy is simply natural selection. Even a bird who sees his female have sex with another male may abandon her. Animals do not want to be cuckolds either.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago


    A man who is willing to put up with the abuse from several women? I support it.

    However... human hearts don't work that way. And wives have killed concubines and heirs from concubines for it throughout history. Out of jealousy and for power.

    So... monogamy may not suit you, it's impractical none the less.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Something about being civilized.....

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Actually it makes a lot of sense in terms of raising offspring. Two dedicated parents increases the odds of having the resources to successfully raise young. A behaviour found throughout nature. But that isn't the only behaviour adopted by animals at all.

    But I get your point, society deemed monogamy the norm, but biologically speaking we don't have to be.

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