Do you think I may regret not having my own kids and only adopting?
I adopted three children and love them as if they are my own. They are my own now. Sometimes I wonder though if I will regret not having my own child. Sometimes I wonder if I should have a biological child. for those who have adopted do you think I could regret not having any bio children? I worry that my adopted children may grow up and want to go back to their bio parents when they are 18 as many adopted children do which would leave me childless. I don't foresee that now but it seems to happen frequently.
having a bio child doesn't guarantee I'll have children in my life when they're older either though as bio children disown their parents sometimes. are there other reasons I could regret it or am I worrying over nothing?
- Ranchmom1Lv 76 months agoBest answer
Only you can answer that.
I don't know any adoptees who were raised in loving, emotionally normal families who completely turned their backs on their adoptive parents. My (adoptive) parents are my parents. They raised me, they love me, and I love them. I did make contact with my original mom 24 years ago. She's a nice person, and we talk a few times per year. She is always interested in what I am up to, and what our girls are up to, etc. but she has her own kids who she raised (one is very close to her, and one is not by the way, so just having a biological child does not guarantee closeness) and does not see me as her daughter in the same sense her daughter whom she raised is her daughter.
All three of our daughters are adults, and I have a good relationship with all three of them - the one who became part of our family as a teenager, and the two I gave birth to.
Again, there are no guarantees in life, and all of us have to do what is best for us and our families. If you do have a biological child, do not *ever* let your adoptive children in on your thinking because they will see it as, "I wanted one of my *own* because you are poor substitutes,"Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.
- KellyLv 76 months ago
I have 2 adopted kids and 4 biological kids.. they are all "my own"...
I have a very open adoption with my daughters original family and they are essentially part of our family too. I adopted her from foster care but I've had her since she was born. She was a temporary foster placement and I adopted her a year later. She's always known she is adopted and sees her original family on a regular basis. She sees her grandma, an aunt and her half sister. I had her sister as a foster placement for a while too but they located her dad and her dad decided to parent her. Her bio mom was troubled and died when she was 4 years old. Having an open adoption has quite benefited her. She's 17 now.
My son thus far has a semi open but mostly closed adoption. His biological parents are both incarcerated, long term. He doesn't have any contact with his bio dad, but I do send his bio mom updates on him and pictures of him. He was 4 when he was placed with us and 6 when we adopted him, he's 9 now. If/when he wants to see them, I will help arrange that. His bio mom had a rough life growing up and grew up in foster care herself. She didn't have the proper guidance in life to make good choices for herself and she was quite young when she had him.
It's quite natural any adopted kids would be curious about their birth family, especially if they don't know them. If you love them, you will support and even help them in that search.
- LizBLv 76 months ago
Just because they may want to meet their adoptive parents someday doesn't mean they'll love you any less. Even if all of them have a best of all possible worlds situation and they all develop good relationships with their bio parents, it just means they have more people in their lives who care about them, not less.
- Katie MLv 76 months ago
If you are a good and loving parent and provide well for the child, they will not leave you. They may want to seek out their biological parents but that doesn't mean they will love you less. It's normal for a person to want to know their bio parents.
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- Anonymous6 months ago
I have 9 birth grand kids & 3 adapted, either way is fine .....................