Advise for a 17 year old to become more confident?

Okay so I’m 17 almost 18 and I’m that socially awkward quite girl in class .i get so much anxiety when I’m asked to do a presentation like my heart pounds so loudly it feels like it’s about to rip out of my chest and my whole body shakes uncontrollably and I stutter over my words it’s so embarrassing.Even when the teacher is picking on people to answer questions my heart races and I avoid making eye contact with them.Because of my shyness and low self esteem guys don’t talk to me and It sucks because it makes me feel like I’m going to die alone.Some girls are just so confident and have high self esteem and I just want to be on the same level .I want to be able to put my hand up to answer a questions in class(ik that sounds silly but I really struggle with it) and I want to be confident enough to start a conversation with a guy and my peers in general . Does anyone have any tips/advice to how I can become more confident where should i start?

26 Answers

Relevance
  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Something to think about is that some seemingly confident people really aren't . They tremble inside just like you do, but are able to hide that component of their personality and appear outwardly strong. Exposure to a variety of situations often makes it easier to cope. Baby steps. If there is a hobby you enjoy, like painting, maybe you could take a class and be with like minded people. It would be restful and you could focus on the painting (or whatever) if mingling felt too intense. The more you spend time in groups the easier it gets.

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Forget about what others think

  • 7 months ago

    there is nothing wrong with you,.. I am both hide in corner and take over the room if the people ask me too

    I would rather sit quiet and see others are not idiots,,,,, problem is the world is full of idiots who need put in tier place

    caring what idiots think is a issue to get over

    once you are on your own with a job and living as you wish you will find loots of peace in being alone with one special person

  • Git
    Lv 5
    7 months ago

    Over coming low self esteem requires small steps. You have to build it up slowly, it cannot happens over-night.

    For a start, have a proper posture. When you sit up straight, it makes you feel more confident. Also, tackle simple situations without too much hesitation, it makes you look assertive. Do not speak too soon, a wise person always speak last because he listens to both side of an argument before making his or her opinion known.

    People around you will notice your change and comment you on your confidence. You will feel more encouraged and be more confident. This will accumulate over time. But do note, there will be situations that will set you back and there will always be people who criticize others. As long as you knows there will be set backs, you can be ready to handle it.

    You can also try hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis, it will take several sessions. Results are relatively good for most but not all.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 7 months ago

    Start working out. After working out you look better and feel better. Once you see improvement you will create a self confidence. Also those kids and teachers aren’t **** after you graduate. They’re opinions don’t matter. No one is better than anyone. You will find somebody eventually. They are guys out there that worry about dying alone too.

    • W7 months agoReport

      Exactly! Literally 99% of the people you know in high school will never talk to you again after you graduate. And half of the time, those 99% of people don’t even talk to each other anymore! You may be shy now but you’ll spread your wings someday! College really helps with that!

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Therapist

    • firooz7 months agoReport

      WELL DONE! BUT FINDING A GOOD ONE IS HARD!

  • 7 months ago

    Confidence comes with high self-esteem. High self-esteem comes with public recognition for things done well.

    The answer suggesting Toastmasters is a good one as Toastmasters will help you become self-assured in not only public speaking but also in one on one presentation. And, hey, you might even meet someone at a meeting with whom you can become friends. They're free; so look them up.

    Lacking a Toastmasters in your 'hood, join an extracurricular activity at your school. What do you like to do? Like to cook...join the home econ group. Like to fiddle with equations, join the math club. Point is this, join a group made up of people with interests similar to your own.

    Then as you become comfortable with the people and the things they do, start to join in with their activities. And when you are really into the crowd, take the lead in something. Something simple at first. And when you succeed in that, and you will if you try, you'll begin to feel better about yourself. And that shyness will melt away.

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    :) I have good news for you...

    Fear of public speaking ranks right up there with fear of death...

    Now google 'Toastmasters'.

    They have free meetings - which are a lot of fun - for people who want to learn to speak publicly...

    They practice on each other.

    It is by practicing that it gets easier and easier.

    Do it! Go to the meetings and become a great speaker.... just remember to never lie - because in the end you will be held accountable to your Maker for your words.

  • 7 months ago

    I'm 18 and I still struggle with the things you've mentioned, so don't worry, you're not alone. How I dealt with it is by making a fake account on social media (any of your preference) and I posted my thoughts and feelings. Shared a few photos of things I found interesting. I was the real me without the fear or anxiety. It sounds really weird, but it helped. The more "friends" "liked" my posts the more confident I got. There was a sense of satisfaction knowing that I wasn't being judged. I went from having no social interaction to having 4 real life friends at my school. I discovered my love for language and built up the courage to raise my hand when questions were asked. Make a name for yourself. Excel in something. Be comfortable knowing you're doing what you're doing and you're doing it well. Anyone who makes you want to feel anxious about that clearly doesn't appreciate what you're trying to succeed and is not worth a worry in your mind.

  • 7 months ago

    First of all, you're not alone. Most people get nervous. Even theater actors talk about the stagefright they have before going on stage! So, accept your nervousness and give yourself permission to screw up. So, if you raise your hand and give the wrong answer, and everyone laughs, all you have to do is laugh along with them. When giving a presentation, try to imagine you're talking to a friend and look at someone in the class who has kindly face. Guys probably don't talk to you because they don't know how you'll react. Try to make a little more eye contact and give a little smile. And if you find yourself standing near someone you want to talk to (1) give yourself permission to fail, (2) accept your nervousness, and (3) have something neutral to say. "I can't wait until the weekend." "Do you have any idea when our next holiday is?" You could even practice this kind of stuff with a friend. You could also see a therapist who could help you figure out other ways to raise your self esteem.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.