Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 7 months ago

Why could my girlfriend be drinking so much?

My girlfriend isn’t a sociable person she also has anxiety&depression, but I am a sociable person. She doesn’t have a close family she only sees her mum and dad, and doesn’t really see her dad much. I see my family regularly, I have a big family and have always been a close family and I usually see my sister and nieces every weekend, most of the time when I ask her to come she says no. And she said no to coming to a meal to my mums with me, it annoys me because I want her to come with me and get to know my family, I wish she wasn’t so withdrawn. On the odd occasion she does say yes to coming, she looks unhappy about it beforehand and starts drinking heavily an hour before coming. It was my nieces birthday and she got drunk, we went on holiday with the whole family and she drank the whole week secretly. But she doesn’t drink that much when it’s just me and her or when she’s with her mum or dad. I don’t understand why? Any suggestions? And what should I do?

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    7 months ago
    Best answer

    im exactly like her, shes just an introvert.

    Keep bringing her around your family slowly but surely she will get comfortable and come around. It takes time for introverts

  • 7 months ago

    depression/ being an introvert. it helps with being social for both. i know from experience.

  • 7 months ago

    dad sexually abused her. ive never known a woman with an addiction issue who didnt have trauma of some kind.

    • ron h
      Lv 7
      7 months agoReport

      everyone has had some trauma. How amateurish of you to decide that her father abused her.

  • 7 months ago

    Though it’s seems personal toward you it’s not she has a serious life threatening disease and she can’t unfortunately help yourself by herself it’s easy to make quick judgement about something we’re not experiencing patience love understanding praying and trying to keep reaching her is mandatory because she already feels alone abandoned scared and lost.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    i would ask her and i wouldnt let her drive if shes going to do that

  • 7 months ago

    Addiction. My guess is it started as self-medicating for depression, but developed into a bad habit. You need help from an experienced AA worker. I would ask someone like that for advice on how to stop the addiction. Sooner or later, though, she's likely to get in trouble with the law, like an OWI, so she's probably going to be forced into some sort of program anyway.

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Why are you with someone like this? It sounds like a strange question, but it isn't. Anxiety, depression, excessive drinking...2 of these are very serious emotional or mental problems that she may never get past. Anxiety is a lot more controversial, since it seems so many play that card just to avoid doing something they don't want to do.

    Anyway, it's not surprising you're getting annoyed. What you need to realize is that, as your relationship deepens, the stakes get higher. This will worsen until you finally give up. Also, on that secret drinking, this isn't "normal" behavior. What I mean is, if she can fool someone for a week, she's capable of fooling her parents and even you. I'm a substance abuse counselor, and this is a very common pattern. Secret drinking is always a big red flag.

    Honestly, even though I doubt you'll do this, I think you're best off telling her you love her blah blah, but right now, she's got a lot of things on her plate she needs to work on, but you're just getting in her way. This has the additional benefit of being true. As long as she can fixate on you, she feels more free to ignore this other stuff. She won't be the only one who pays for that. You will, too.

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Nobody is nobody can girlfriend.

  • 7 months ago

    She needs AA

  • 7 months ago

    She is jealous but not in like a bitchy way, she is upset of what you have with your family. From what you have said she really wants that with her family but it’s not working out as well as it could be.

    I think that if she got drunk at a kids birthday party that is kind of the limit. You really need to tell her to be honest with you instead of drinking. If she doesn’t want to go that’s fine, don’t force her, but tell her you could all be one big family and maybe your parents would even take her in and her parents and yours could even become friends and you could have both family’s meet up. This should help her feel like she is part of what you have. Hope this helps

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