Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 year ago

How can I get over someone?

So a girl who is a friend I had a crush on and she kept it hidden because her partner is her boss at work, we all work at the same place. Anyway today as she was driving me home she told me that he was her partner and I knew this for a few months but she never told me earlier and it wasn't on Facebook but there were photos of them. It hurt a bit when she told me this but I shouldn't fell this way because they have been together way before we met. She is a damm good friend anyway. When hanging out with her it feels like she is my girlfriend it really does I felt really cool walking through the mall with her today. I guess why I feel like this well part of it anyway is because my other friends are losers and she would probably never speak to me again if she found out about these guys, there losers because they live in dirty crappy homes that smell of cigarettes and they never shower and they just breaks my stuff especially my car, they are always rambling on about stupid cars. The reason I hangout with them is because I was bullied my whole life at school and they were the only ones that were nice but now first year out of school it's just like they need to go there the losers of the school and now the are just going to be nobody's hanging out with her I guess it just feels so special because I'm just hanging out with a proper person. It was nice when we went to get a coffee together today it really was so nice she didn't start throwing food at me or making a mess.

Update:

She is just really cool and being with her feels like a dream and why do I feel like I'm going to lose her? Should I tell her I had feelings? I don't want to lose her and only have the stupid losers to hang out with. When I'm with them I feel depressed, sad, angry, embarrassed t is just awful with them

2 Answers

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    1 year ago
    Favourite answer

    A crush is a self-created fantasy.

    The truth is that if you actually got involved with her, somewhere between 1 date and 3 years you stand a 50/50 chance of HATING her.

    You let go of a crush the same way you let go of any other kind of addiction.

    You refuse to engage in that addiction, you tolerate the withdrawal symptoms, and by refusing to dwell on the addiction and instead keeping yourself otherwise occupied, it slowly dies out.

    It can take 4-8 months, so be patient. And if you have not totally gotten over your addiction within a year, get some therapy.

    In the case of being addicted to a person OR to a fantasy-crush, you need to avoid that person as much as possible. Drop them off of your FB and all other social media. Don't talk with them, except when you must discuss work tasks. Don't LOOK at them. Stop having her drive you home.

    Since you work with her, UNLESS you want to create an enemy at work .. confess that you have a crush on her and are now going to let it die out. To please not get offended if you stop socializing or hanging out with her, because that is the only way you are going to get over your crush.

  • Steve
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    If she’s a good friend you should tell her about it. You won’t lose her.

    All you have to do is respect that she isn’t available romantically. Do that, and you’re set.

    If you can’t do that, don’t tell her.

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