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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 year ago

How to reconnect with a sibling, his wife who dislikes me & his 3 kids i’ve not seen in 7 years?

10 Answers

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  • 1 year ago

    Don't bother, let him make the effort. Your not alone, I'm in the same boat and so are a couple of people that I know. It's been 32 years since I last saw my sister and I have NEVER met my Nephews. For what ever reason, her husband doesn't like me. I met him twice and both times I wasn't impressed. There was something that wasn't quite right and any time I called her to invite her and her family over she always had an excuse as to why she couldn't. Funny how she can visit her friends and be around his family without a problem. I even went so far as to ask our mom a couple of times what does my sister and her husband have against me. She claims she doesn't know and even if she did, she's staying out of it. I can't let myself get upset anymore because my sister and brother in law choose not to be apart of me and their Nieces and Nephew's life. I know it's easier said than done. In fact, my ex husband and his siblings are going through the same exact thing as you are. They gave up trying. It's a sad situation when you give up everything to keep the peace.

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  • Prince
    Lv 5
    1 year ago

    Reconnect at your sister-in-law's funeral. IT can be arranged.

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  • 1 year ago

    yep, do not bother,,

    family is not a choice nor is it a real need now days,,, make association elsewhere

    Call on the phone to him is as good as any idea

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  • 1 year ago

    We have a brother who is married to a woman who is nice and friendly when we have seen her, but none of us have a relationship with her because she has walls built around her and will not let any of us in. None of us have been invited to my brother's house in over 30 years, except once. We have come to realize that our brother is pussywhipped.

    Mind you, there have been zero arguments and nothing has even happened for our sister-in-law to disconnect from our family.

    So, us siblings all decided to have a separate relationship with our brother. We meet just him for dinners and lunches. We invite his whole family to gatherings, as always, and most of the time he comes without her or his children. When I do see her, I kill her with kindness.

    So, my advise to you is to contact your brother by beginning a casual relationship through short communication leading up to seeing him over the course of a few month's time, or so. Just a simple text or e-mail is really all you need to get the ball rolling. I would be hesitant to send him a card through the USPS because maybe his wife would intercept it. Whatever you do, do not disrespect his wife and just kill her with kindness.

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    • Common Sense
      Lv 7
      1 year agoReport

      Jedi Jan, we ARE understanding and have understood that we don't have to deal with her in order to maintain a relationship with our brother. We do not need her to be an active member of our family, as we work around her and her issues. Whatever her issues are, we are not allowing her to control us.

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  • 1 year ago

    Just ring him and see if you can make an arrangement to meet up somewhere for a chat.

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  • 1 year ago

    just rnake arrangernents to see everyone but his wife

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  • `
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    If you have your brother's phone number, call him directly and ask him out for coffee. Hopefully, he will be receptive to the idea. If you write or email him, there's always a chance his wife will intercept your correspondence.

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  • 1 year ago

    Suggest a get-together between just the two of you, in a pub or cafe, a place where you can stay as long or short a time as you feel like.

    Depending on how that goes, you can take it forward from there, or just let it drop again.

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  • 1 year ago

    Start with a letter or email, sharing your thoughts/feelings about wanting to reconnect. Acknowledge how much time has passed and your role in any situation/circumstance that may have caused this rift. Recognize that your brother may need time and space, and reiterate that you would like to have his children in your life once more. If you live in the same area, consider suggesting meeting up on neutral territory (e.g., cafe). If you live a distance from each others, offer to make a phone call. Do this in stages and tell your brother you understand this is day to day for all of you.

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  • audrey
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Don't bother. If his wife dislikes you, it's not worth your effort.

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