How much privacy do you/would you allow your 14 year old kid to have?
I’m 14 and I’m just asking this question because I sometimes think my parents are a little overprotective. I don’t have a door on my bedroom, my parents come into my bedroom whenever they want and say that nothing I keep in my bedroom is “private”, my parents read all my text messages and my parents check my computer activity all time. The only thing I have that my parents have promised not to read is my journal. I would get it if I was always doing things I’m not supposed to, but I really don’t do much. My parents have never found anything I’m my text messages or my computer history or my room. Is this just what’s normal or are my parents over the top a bit?
- Anonymous1 year ago
I mean, unless you've done some REALLY bad stuff in the past, like sneaking out or stealing, that is way over the top and your parents are insane. Not letting you have a door? How are you supposed to have privacy when you change clothes?
- Star_of_DarknessLv 71 year ago
No child needs it. They don't need a locked door, they don't need to shut the door unless they are changing, they don't need to be on any electronic with out you monitering it
Your parents can come into that room when they want, and there's nothing you can do since you are a child and don't own the room
You don't need to be keeping text messages hidden from them, its good they read them to make sure you are not talking to a pedo
They need to take the computer away and put it in the living room so they can watch what you do on it
- PhilipthepaleLv 71 year ago
They're a bit over the top.
No door? How are you supposed to get dressed and... ahem, things?
- LoganLv 51 year ago
Your parents are way over the top and need to stop. You have a basic right to your own privacy. To make a point, if you want to go down that route, you can demand to see all their text messages and internet history and show them how irrational they're being.
It can also be good to talk it out and ask them why they're doing this and why they don't trust you to be as good as they raised you to be. Then negotiate chiller measures to get yourself some privacy.
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- SayItRightLv 71 year ago
I wouldn’t expect my 14 year old to not have a door on her room and I wouldn’t walk in without knocking first either, there is a need for privacy at that age and you should be able to get changed without worrying about someone walking in on you.
Internet activity is a little different, I do keep an eye on that because as wonderful as the internet can be it can also be a dangerous place and I have obviously spoken to mine about it but people are not always who they say they are and we have had some issues with bullying online so I watch that.
I don’t read their text messages, I trust them only to exchange messages and numbers with people they know in person and to tell me if they receive anything strange or nasty which thankfully they haven’t, mostly my concerns are with social media because it’s less private than it seems, you can lock profiles down but it’s not foolproof and I have the view that anything shared online should be considered public, if it’s on the internet you are essentially sharing it with the world in my opinion.
I think it’s about getting a balance between safety and respecting that need for teens to have their own space and privacy, I see no reason to not have a door on a bedroom.
- Tri-HarderLv 71 year ago
It's their phone, their computer. (Heck, it's their room.) It's GOOD parenting to check your kids' texts and browser history.
- Anonymous1 year ago
First off no one here can properly answer because we are only hearing one side of this. We don't know your past behavior, how you act or if you respect your parents. I will say not having a door on your room is a little odd. I have removed my kids doors in the past because they slam it. They lost it for a week and then got it back. They never slammed their door again.
"my parents read all my text messages and my parents check my computer activity all time." - Most parents do this. Many parents get their kid's text messages and phone activity emailed to them once a week. This is service provided by cell phone companies.
"My parents have never found anything I’m my text messages or my computer history or my room. " - Well, that is good because they shouldn't find anything. Ever hear your dad say "I've never robbed bank" and expect special treatment or rewards? Of course not he is expected to not rob a bank. Just like you are expected to have nothing wrong in your text or computer history.
Yes, your parents are very normal.
This is overprotective - having to hand your phone over to your parents when you go to the bathroom, before you eat or drink something at a friends house you have to call home and ask permission if what you eat or drink is allowed, wifi is turned off at night & you can only flush the toilet at bedtime. Yes, these are real rules that are at one of my kid's friends house. I thought she was exaggerating until I visited and saw them posted on the wall along with many other rules that were just as crazy.