No judgments. Pregnant, Unsure, Should I tell?

I am 28 years old and last week I found out I am 5 weeks pregnant. The father is my boyfriend, who happens to be my on and off boyfriend for the past almost 4 years. We have never had a stable relationship, but somehow I have a hard time getting away from him. It's like he has this control over me. Even when we... show more I am 28 years old and last week I found out I am 5 weeks pregnant. The father is my boyfriend, who happens to be my on and off boyfriend for the past almost 4 years. We have never had a stable relationship, but somehow I have a hard time getting away from him. It's like he has this control over me. Even when we are not dating, I don't enjoy my life because I worry about what he is going to think. He'll get mad I am going out. I'm going to hear it etc etc. get me? Anyway. Few days prior to finding out I was pregnant we have been arguing for the past few days to the point where we were about to call it quits. Before this year, my life has been held back for a lot of reasons. Now this year I moved out of my moms, got my own place, finally graduated and started in my career working in the OR. You can say I am starting to live life now. Finding out I was pregnant brought a lot of emotions. Because I always wanted to have a family of my own, but when the time was right.
Update: At this point in my life, I feel like its the worst time. I know you can never be ready for a child, however, my situation with the boyfriend. I grew up and seen my mom suffer as a single parent. I know the damages of having an unstable relationship can cause, because it has affected my brothers and I.
Update 2: This isn't how I wanted it to be for me. I want a child but I am not ready right now and it makes me cry of the thought of abortion. I want to tell my parents but should I bother telling them if I am thinking of an abortion? Am I being selfish about this? My boyfriend says its my body that he respects whatever... show more This isn't how I wanted it to be for me. I want a child but I am not ready right now and it makes me cry of the thought of abortion. I want to tell my parents but should I bother telling them if I am thinking of an abortion? Am I being selfish about this? My boyfriend says its my body that he respects whatever decision I make, even though he wanted a kid so bad. But kid would not fix this relationship and I don't want that for my child.
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