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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 1 year ago

Will choose best answer! Please make this sentence better?

"He was the older brother, the stronger one, and he was more charming and witty, more cunning, more heartless, and more vicious."

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    Favourite answer

    He was the older and stronger brother. He was more charming and witty, yet cunning, heartless and vicious.

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  • 1 year ago

    Of course there will be as many ways or re-writing the sentence as there are people reading it, but there is no guarantee that any of them will make the sentence 'better', as there is nothing wrong with it.

    What do YOU think is wrong with it? I enjoyed the slow build-up of the comparatives.

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  • Tina
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    It's fine as it is.

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  • 1 year ago

    Elimination of the extra mores will be most people's first option, although I see how they could make the prose stronger as you get into the repetition of the word.

    I'd suggest chopping this sentence up. Compound sentences are weaker than simple ones.

    He was the older brother, the stronger one. He was more charming and wittier. He was also more cunning, more heartless, and more vicious.

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    • bluebellbkk
      Lv 7
      1 year agoReport

      I'm in agreement with @Tina about this. There may be reasons to use shorter sentences in a particular context, but there is nothing intrinsically 'weak' about compound sentences.

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  • 1 year ago

    "He was the older brother, the stronger one, and he was more charming and witty, more cunning, more heartless, and more vicious."

    He was the elder more extreme brother. He was more charming and witty but also more vicious, heartless and cunning..

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  • 1 year ago

    With his intoxicating charm, and ruthless nature, he was of much stronger character than his younger brother.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    No

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