First of all, I don't quite understand what happened during the tramcar ride and don't understand why your mother said how can you pray with a unclean heart, knowing what you have done, then you want to help others to kill yourself?
I swear I do not know what lead to these things but your mother is wrong to judge your heart because only Allah Azza Wajal knows what is your heart and what is your relationship with Allah.
Second, I know how you mean. Everybody, every age..just about every muslim struggles to pray 5x a day for many reasons and try to make the time while away from home.
Third, please do not stop praying..make a good habit of it. Chances are you will miss prayers for many reasons throughout your whole life and can somehow make up missed prayers if you forgot to pray and missed the prayer hour or some other reason so long as you did not miss prayer knowingly and deliberately.
Fourth, people make mistakes all the time and some do not pray quite correct but if you care about your prayers because you care about Allah; then know Allah will forgive you if you want forgiveness for missing prayers if you sincerely seeking forgiving because Allah is Ghaffor-Karim.
Allah is Most Kind, Most Generous, Most Merciful, Most Forgiving and always welcomes His servant. Always welcomes the servant that comes back to Him.
Praying is to remember Allah, to glorify Allah, to connect with Allah..to build a personal relationship with the Lord and connection. A lifetime connection, a special bond.
So don't leave the most beloved act of worship to Allah that connects you to Allah and prayers have benefits as well as rewards.
Build this relationship as you would do the same with the Holy Wise Quran; the Holy Perfect Words of Allah. Build a good relationship with Allah and His holy Wise Quran and hold on it tightly. Don't let go and don't let go of the mercy of Allah.
Have hope and the mercy of Allah. There is always hope and always a chance so long as you build upon, seek forgiveness of Allah always even if you might not be aware of your mistakes, sins or are aware.
Istigfar has its plentiful benefits as well and praising Allah has its benefits as well and supplicating to Allah has even greater benefits.
Seek Allah if you ever need help, if you ever need comfort. Seek Allah for everything because Allah is All-Aware of you, All-knowing of you more than anyone and the One who is always there for you no matter what.
Forgive others for sake of Allah, seek knowledge and wisdom from Allah to help connect better and closer to Allah.
Do good deeds for the sake of Allah.
Especially because when you pray, Allah is Most Watchful of you and when you look away or look down for whatever the reasons, Allah knows and why you look away from Him Allah says to you in a way because Allah doesn't want you to look away from Him when you praying. Allah is Most Gentle.
Please do not stop praying and if you tired or however, say I seek refuge in Allah from satan and get up. Take a shower if you need..to refresh. Do whatever you need to do but don't stop praying and make sure you do Istigfar as much as you want close to 100x or 100x. It will most definitely help if you struggling to pray.
Question yourself, What is my relationship with Allah? Do I please Allah? Would Allah be happy with me if I do this or don't do this?
Things like that, think of what Allah would think of you because He alone can truly judge and can give true judgement no matter what and He alone matters the most than what others think of you.
Even if others are upset with you or having hard day, long day, busy days or..hard time and may say harsh things. Sometimes understand people can be upset for many reasons sometimes its because they are tired or however.
I will post helpful short video links in the comments, please watch and you can save on your computer or however because in short while those comments will eventually disappear.