Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 months ago

What to do in a miserable married life?

So we have been married for 5 years both in our early 30s no children's atm. My husband has his own bussiness and I work from home part time due to health reasons. My husband leaves home at 8am and gets back home at 8pm, I dont see him for 12 hours a day. He works 6 days a week and has only sundays off, the sundays he has off is meant to be a time spent togeather he is constantly on the phone with his clients every 5 minutes his phone rings. He never chooses where to take me but always asks where I want to go it would be nice if he chooses where to take me rather then always asking me where do you want to go. I'm so sick and tired of him, he gives me no attention what so ever it's always me making the first move for everything. He never asks let's take pictures together unless I just take a picture with him. I feel like a burden in his life I've told him if he doesnt change I'm leaving him and he always says sorry i dont mean it but turns back to his old self again I'm sick and tired of his behaviour. I dont understand what's going on or am I just being a bit harsh on him?

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Let's be honest, if you worked 12 hour day's, 6 days a week and your husband worked part time from home you'd leave him. You live the financial security and all the nice things he buys for you. Here's a thought, tell him you'd be fine with him earning less money. Tell him to cut his hours and spend it with you.

  • 9 months ago

    Youi are very fortunate to have a husband who cares for yoiu and his family... He works hard... has clients to deal with. Poor guy. I think he deserves your love and admiration... and of course he cares for yoiu or he would not ask you where you would like go. . He is giving you the choice out of love. The only think I can think of is to talk to him. From what you say, I am sure he will listen. Having a business is taxing on the family, of course. He has obligations to his clients he has to fulfill.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Yes too harsh

    sure talk with him

    BUT start by seeing if there is a room in your home budget to cut spending and thus reassure home working less hours is OK

    Life is hard and this is normal.... Men stop choosing what and where the go because women often find fault in all he does.. make sure your enthusiasm comes out no matter what you do

    while leaving is OK if you make a complete unemotional decision

    but you will find the fun boys are the lazy ones not earning a living

    and having health problems limiting your abilities to support yourself can be a bigger problem than you know now and being single and on your own will be so much harder than you ever thought

    I have seen lots of women .. mostly in their 50s 60s wonder why men never pay attention to them ,, I will hint IT IS NOT LOOKS it is these women are a burden and not financially or emotionally able to live on their own

    but in mid 30s you will find the competition harsh REAL harsh .. your advantage is no children

    but most the women who left their responsible husbands at your age for MORE FUN were used over and over by the predator men who are not looking for any relationship

    it will leave you feeling used up

    I was a one of those predators ,, in my 20s .. been married 30 years..... now

    I was lots of fun to lots of women it the 1980s

    but simple fact money makes the world go around -- you will only know when the easy life goes away

  • 9 months ago

    I think every married couple can sympathize with your situation

    marriage is not easy and making a marriage work is one of the most difficult things we as humans have to deal with

    But believe us when we say the Bible is the best place to start to help you with your marriage

    The principles that are found in God's word can help us to apply to ourselves and help strengthen the bond of a marriage

    The quality of the time you spent together is more important than the mount

    Keep trying to communicate with him but in the mild spirit

    What he is hearing is complaints, which are legit!

    Try as hard as it may be, try to give him compliments for the things he is doing

    Ask him if he feels that everything is okay in your marriage.

    Get his point of view, if he opens up then listen so that you can get an idea of what he is thinking.

    Even if they are totally wrong. it would give you insight, so that you can see how you can approach this serious problem

    You will be taking the lead to save your marriage

    Source(s): Jw.org help for the family
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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    tell him your thoughts and fears. If he does not change then divorce him.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Talk to him.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    He is not working all those hours. He has a girlfriend and she is the one he talks to on the phone. You are a terrible wife and you deserve to be treated like dirt because you are dirt.

    • Emily Rose
      Lv 6
      9 months agoReport

      ooh look another person set on anonymous uh oh we got a badass over here

  • 9 months ago

    You need a change in attitude. He lets you choose where you want to go, what could be better than? What if he took you some place you didn't want to go? That would give you something to complain about and he probably doesn't want to hear that. Now to the other things, you have a legitimate complaint there. You got at least 4 hours maybe 5 to do stuff to together like having sex and if you have to initiate it, do it. As for Sundays, tell him you are going to take the hook off the phone because you need time with him and tell him to tell his clients that he will no longer be taking calls from them because it is going to cause a divorce if I don't start spending some time with my wife. How old are you and your husband? Start having a lot more sex with him. Do you even get anything out of sex with him? Talk to me.

  • 9 months ago

    You knew it was a snake before it bit you. If you’d focus on yourself and find an interest other than him, you’d not have time to worry about how he behaves while with you. It’s not unreasonable he asks you to make outing and dining choices. He’s busting his tail, as you’re basically idle. Disabled people have interests and activities too. Let up.

  • 9 months ago

    Five months ago you wanted a child - just as well you didn't! We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc. If everyone read books like Dr Phil McGraw's excellent, Relationship Rescue they would get deeper insights into how relationships work and learn to be much happier! (I wish I got commission, as I recommend it to so many people!). As he writes in the book, it isn't only or people whose relationships are in trouble. There are other excellent books, of course.

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