Ma'am, with due respect, you can't be opposed to spanking in some situations and not in others. And what makes you think that spanking a child who bullies other children is going to change the bully's behavior? I can tell you that it WON'T. All it will do is send the message that HITTING PEOPLE is the best way to solve a problem, and that it's okay for them to be violent or to act aggressively towards those they don't like. Is that the message and lesson that you want to teach and send to YOUR KIDS??
I suspect that your answer is probably NO. I oppose spanking and all forms of physical punishment too, but in my case, it's because I'm a survivor of YEARS of such abuse- and it is ABUSE- from my own parents. School based CORPORAL punishment (i.e., paddling) is now ILLEGAL in 31 US states. Those states which have outlawed the practice have done this because they recognize that as disciplinary tactic it is useless. Not only does it not change student behavior, it actually teaches kids that it's okay for them to be aggressive and to act out. It also RAISES the risk that the paddled students will BECOME bullies. Physical punishments like paddling also contribute to mental illness.
The reason WHY paddling and other punishments of that nature are useless is because they are very HYPOCRITICAL. When adults like teachers and school principals hit kids, they are taking a "do as I SAY but not as I DO" approach to discipline, and they CONTRADICT themselves with every blow they land. Most of the KIDS on the receiving end of such abuse have absolutely NO TROUBLE whatsoever in picking up on this hypocritical, MIXED MESSAGE, and the vast majority of such kids RESENT IT, just as the ADULTS THEMSELVES WOULD if the situation were REVERSED and THEY were the ones on the receiving end of such abuse. NONE OF US like being HIT, Ma'am. And that includes CHILDREN and teens. Being young doesn't mean a child or teen is STUPID. Quite apart from this, however, parents, school officials, and other adults who resort to physical punishments as a means of discipline usually very immature people themselves. They hit kids because they themselves were hit or spanked as children, and they don't know any better or have never learned that there are FAR BETTER WAYS to resolve conflict and change bad behavior which don't involve violence. That's how the cycle of abuse gets passed on from generation to generation, in fact. Abused kids frequently grow up to become abusers themselves. The problem is especially acute with boys, because boys who get hit or spanked a lot often wind up becoming domestic abusers or rapists when they mature. They spend their childhood watching how their dads and other male relatives treat women and girls, and the messages they get are anything BUT appropriate in a lot of cases. So it stands to reason that when they grow up and are in relationships of their own, they often become violent. And because they themselves are violent, they teach their children that it's okay to be violent too.
· 3 months ago