How many times a year do you consider not having sex? The answer is 7x or less. If a wife can not have any form of sex >7x a year then she needs to get help first.If that doesn't help she needs to fake it til she makes it.An AA saying for just doing it until you begin to feel comfortable again. My wife feels older and less sexy so she has stopped being the aggressor. I put up with it for 2 years once a month until I gave her an ultimatum.The crazy thing is almost every time we had sex she had multiple orgasms.It is just getting her to start. I am a pleaser and always let her climax 2-3x before I do. I first thought she was cheating but she was not even doing her hair anymore.I finally believed it was her feeling non-sexy and just told her twice a week when you want or I will pick the days.I still think she feels differently about me and I do not trust her. If she was still getting dressed as she did for me and hadn't stopped coloring her hair , botox ,fillers,etc. Then I would absolutely think she was a cheat. Maybe she's having an emotional phone affair? She certainly is not physically seeing anyone because of how she is so lazy to take care of her looks. This still shows me that she cares less about me though. I just do not understand how she enjoys sex but wouodn't initiate it if I didn't.? I do not even think she masturbates anymore? The issue is I have not been able to orgasm with myself since long before we married. I told her this and she assured me she wanted sex with me at least once a day which annoyed me but I did my duty. I do see how she feels differently about her looks. I resent her though for not even caring that my prostate hurts at times from only ******* once a month. I even tried making a deal with her. She could spend just 3-4 min twice a week to finish getting me off with her hand. This lasted 3 weeks. Now when I ask she does have sex reluctantly but again once she starts she has 4-5 orgasms as always? If she admits it feels good during and after then what is her problem? Can it be just how she thinks she looks? I told her to get whatever she wants ? I still bring her roses, I still do all the things I did . We got married when I was 42 and she was 38 . I was single a good 10 yrs but she went right from a gay husband to me. I even introduced her to two of my friends and encouraged her to please date at least 2 or 4 guys but she refused. Instead 3 years into our marriage I caught her doing stupid things<I always encouraged she have a few male friends and I even encouraged she call an x . I believe she had a change when she would stupidly hide her calls from me to 2 guys I knew she spoke to? That is a bad sign and maybe she did cheat on me? She swears on her family she never cheated but she will not admit her stupidity of hiding phone calls from me? She once was on the phone in her car and I went to open the door just to get a cigarette & she locked the door before letting me in anyway? I even knew as she did who she was speaking with. I asked her what that was about and she said because you are a jealous lunatic and it is embarrassing? I am the least jealous husband or B.F. in the world and she is the jealous one? In fact of all her B.F.'s she went out with, I was the only one who never accused her , always encouraged she date before we got serious because of the amount of girls she knew I dated while she and I were just friends. The crazy thing is she was shy before I made her go to a H.S. reunion party at a bar alone without me. I wanted her to feel sexy and desired. I did meet her at the end and drove us home. This party was just a week after she made me come to her H.S. reunion major party at a hotel. She introduced me to 2 x B.F.'s and I actually hung out with one for a good hour . He didn't bring his wife. All was cool until he asked me if I knew about him? I jokingly replied unless it is more than you being her H.S. boyfriend and her 1st to have sex with than NO? He said no that's all but how are you sitting with me like nothing happened? I again asked unless you are with her or were with her after H.S. which still would not matter since I started dating her at 39-40 then what is the deal,bro? Do I smell? He got up and walked away. As he got up I said why don't you and Jen hang here and talk and I'll get us some drinks. I left them alone for a while until my wife came and grabbed me never to let go again.,
She later that month told me why she didn't want to go to the bar party and why she grabbed on for life after they were alone 10 mion. at the table. He yelled at her for always bringing a huisband ? 10 years ago her gay husband was not as polite as I was to this predator who thought he was back in H.S. again and got nasty. At the bar party she kept calling me to come because he was annoying her. I came by and asked him to let Jen hang with her friends and you are making her uncomfortable. I then left her there and she admitted she was happy I did that and she had a great time. We stayed 2 hrs longer talking to her old friends and one guy she even fdated.
When my x G.F's called my office where she worked for me but I was usually at a different practice, she never once gave me a message if any old , new or present G.F.'S called me. SO WHO IS THE JEALOUS LUNATIC?
DO YOU THINK SHE EVER CHEATED AND IS WHY SHE ACTS SO WIERD AROUND ME AND OTHJER GUYS? IS SHE JUST A NUT? IS SHE INSECURE?
Getting back to insecure? This is why our dr says she can orgasm once relaxed but I should get used to being the initiator for a while. I DO NOT KNOW WHY SHE ALSO HAS STOPPED MASTURBATING AND just is different in bed?
I tell her at least 3-4x a year if she wants to split I am cool with that or we can have an open marriage or whatever she wants is ok with this 53 yr old man who has seen and done everythging. She gets even more insecure when I talk about open relationships but I did tell her she ever pulls that ta;lking behind my back crap again when I don't even care ? I will walk out and take our son because she was warned beforehand and I fixed her up with 2 great guys instead she chose to talk to to 2 creeps? I went down her list of boy friends and besides her x husband being gay he and I were the only nice guys she dated or spoke to.
To answer the question. IF A HUSBAND OR WIFE IS NOT GETTING WHAT WE ALL NEED THEN THE ONE WHO IS BEING REJECTED SHOULD TRY THERAPY, TRY TALKING, FINALLY ASK IF THEY WANT AN OPEN MARRIAGE AND IF YES THEN GREAT BUT IF NO AND STILL NO CHANGE? THEN TELL YOUR PARTNER YOU ARE SORRY BUT I AM GIVING YOU THE CHOICE. DIVORCE,SEPERATE open marriage or GO DO WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE I AM NOT DEALING WITH A SEXLESS MARRIAGE. SO YOU DO WHAT YOU WANY BUT I AM GOING OUT WITH .....
YOU WILL THEN SEE IF SHE IS CHEATING OR IF NOT SHE WILL NEVER REJECT YOU AGAIN. BUT IF SHE IS GETTING ALL DOLLED UP THEN YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER BEFORE all this. NOBODY CAN LIVE WITHOUT SEX. PERIOD!