Are my son’s step children considered to be my grandchildren?

My daughter in law has 4 children. The eldest and the youngest are biologically my son’s. The middle two are her’s with her ex husband. They weren’t together when they had the eldest, they had her when they were rather young (16 and 19) and didn’t really know what they were doing with their lives. They properly got... show more My daughter in law has 4 children. The eldest and the youngest are biologically my son’s. The middle two are her’s with her ex husband. They weren’t together when they had the eldest, they had her when they were rather young (16 and 19) and didn’t really know what they were doing with their lives. They properly got together after she made the decision to leave her husband. They’d always remained close, she used to go to him when she needed help as he was the only person she trusted.

Recently my son got upset when I referred to the children as my 2 grandchildren and my daughter in law’s other 2 children. I don’t see them as my grandchildren in the same way I do my other grandchildren. I know he sees them all as his children because he’s the one raising them as the ex husband isn’t involved, he was abusive to her and since she left he lost interest in his children. I do try to treat them all the same in terms of birthday presents but at Christmas I do tend to spoil my grandchildren more than the other two.
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