Trying to confront my rapist?

So 9 years ago I was raped by some I knew. We hung out for the first time and he said I initiated the sex and at that time i didn't know if I believed him. Anyways, I kept seeing this person. Our relationship was just based off sex and now we dont talk. That night has been on my mind for years and he texts me... show more So 9 years ago I was raped by some I knew. We hung out for the first time and he said I initiated the sex and at that time i didn't know if I believed him. Anyways, I kept seeing this person. Our relationship was just based off sex and now we dont talk. That night has been on my mind for years and he texts me once in a great while. At first I liked the attention that we kept in contact and maybe I fell for him. Now it's been 9 years havent heard from him in over a year and he messaged me and my heart just sank. I want to tell him about what happened that night and I'm not sure how to approach it. I'm afraid hes going to say I was drunk and we did it. However I dont remember drinking that much and I remember bits and parts of it. I remember being in the tub and I felt that I couldnt move. I felt that I was drugged, but I could have been drunk? Either way, I couldnt consent so it wouldn't really matter. I have moved on and we both have our lives going for him. I dont want the law to get involved cuz it was so long ago, but I just want an apology. I dont even know if that would help, but it might? I keep feeling in denial about it, but knowing he raped me. I feel like an idiot for continuing a sexual relationship with him in the past. I havent seen or slept with him in 8 years so there is that relief, but I still dont think he knows what he did to me. Honestly not sure what I am asking or how to approach it. Any advice?
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