How do I gather the strength to go back to what was right?

I was a single dad and didn’t get to finish college. But once my kids were grown I went into flatbed trucking and real money flowed in just in time to handle their adult world needs. (2 years later) Once money no longer became an issue in my life I started seeking to be home more with a gravy job that paid really... show more I was a single dad and didn’t get to finish college. But once my kids were grown I went into flatbed trucking and real money flowed in just in time to handle their adult world needs. (2 years later) Once money no longer became an issue in my life I started seeking to be home more with a gravy job that paid really well (super heavy hauling). But it’s empty. I feel guilty and like a sellout (and old). I need to go back to the hard work, the pain, the challenge and the love of it. But I feel like a pussy now. All rich and fat talking cash-****. Can god give me the strength to do it? I’ll be signing on to world of pain, but I’ll live everyday an honest man.
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