How to cope with a disrespectful coworker?
Over the course of two years I've worked my way up from a dishwasher to a prep cook in the restaurant I work in. One of my coworkers was at some point my close friend and was the one who convinced me to ask about switching positions in the first place. After a spiraling downfall of her coming in in one bad mood after another and taking it out on me, I had had enough and I spoke to my boss about the condescending disrescpet I was greeted with every evening. He had a talk with her and now she has not spoken to me in months. She will not communicate with me for work purposes, she rolls her eyes and scoffs at me whenever I walk by her or I'm within he right, she has attempted to hit me by kicking trash cans in my direction as I'm walking down the hall, she's even referred to me as "f*cking idiot" when I accidentally hit her with the revolving restaurant doors as she was walking in and I was walking out. I will be the first to admit that I am sensitive and I hate confrontation. I have tried to be very passive about the whole situation. I still try to treat her with the same respect and fairness that I give to my coworkers, but she's really starting to wear me down.
- PrinceLv 52 years ago
When she kicks trashcans at you, kick them back. When she says, "F'ing idiot", say, "F'ing idiot" right back at her.
- Jay RLv 72 years ago
What would happen/what would you do if she were to fully wear you down? You seem to be absorbing lots of nasty energy because you won't go to her level, and she's ok with that. She will continue to abuse you as long as you tolerate it. She's clearly unbalanced and needs to be reported to the boss. Stay calm and focussed as you detail the abuse you've suffered. If she becomes worse after having been reported, report that as well. Stay on her until something is resolved. People like her see people like you as weak. You're not, but she's too effed up to understand your values.
- Pearl LLv 72 years ago
maybe you should talk to your manager about it again
- JosephineLv 62 years ago
Do the same back to her, of just stop her in the hall and be like "Okay look, this has been going on for too long and I'm sick of it. WHAT is your problem? Let's square up right now, or leave me the HELL alone."
I know you hate confrontation, but I think she's picking on you because you're being passive and taking her crap. You're an easy target; she knows she can get away with it and she wants to be a jerk to someone. Make it not worth her time to give you crap. Yes it sucks, especially if you hate confrontation (I'm the same way) but she's being a bully, and all bullies want an easy target that malkes them feel powerful to pick on. Tell her to go F herself one good time and she'll be a lot more inclined to stay out of your way.
- What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
- marys.mommaLv 72 years ago
I guess you'll have to be the bigger person and try to treat her just as you would any other co-worker. If she happens to be in a slightly better mood some day soon, you could try being slightly nicer to her, yourself. It might work . . .
- Anonymous2 years ago
Everyday take a massive dump and don't flush the toilet. When people start getting upset, start a rumor that she is the one who does it. Soon everyone will start to hate her and she will quit the job and you will never see her again.
- linkus86Lv 72 years ago
A mature person would try to resolve their differences with a co-worker by talking to them about it, especially a friend. But its clear you don't have that maturity because you opted to tattle on them instead of talking to them directly. I feel sorry for everyone you call a friend. Thus what you need to do is obvious. You need to apologize for your previous poor choice of tattling, and making an effort to extend an effort to rekindle the friendship you once had. Your expectation of common courtesy isn't realistic unless you are prepared to do the same, and your past hasn't proved that.
- David B.Lv 72 years ago
The source of your problem lies in the fact that you are allowing her to treat you the way she is in order to avoid conflict. You have four choices. Either take her aside and tell her that you are sick and tired of the way she has been treating you, starting with her behavior that caused this mess in the first place. Find a different job and leave. Go tell the manager what has been happening. OR keep letting her bully you. PICK ONE!
- Anonymous2 years ago
You need to stop needing to get validation in life from her. She was a friend, but that ended. Now you arn’t friends. Maybe someday that will change. She proved to you that she was not and is not a dependable friend. If you were to get approval from her - what kind of sacrifices would you have to make? I don’t think it’s worth it. Maybe she is not mentally well. Maybe she is just disagreeable. But I say steer clear.
Get your validation in life from people you love and look up to. IE: your family, good friends, your church, volunteer work at a charity, from school if you go to school. If you don’t do things like volunteer or be part of some faith community - maybe it’s time to start. Look for real friends.
Your job is where you make money. You don’t have to like everyone, just respect them. If she starts disrespecting you badly again - just go back to the supervisor.
Going forward - just be civil to her and nothing more.
- The decider...Lv 42 years ago
I don’t know how you can put up with that. I got no patience for people playing that