We spent around $35,000, but that included a lot and we had no debt for it.
My dress - splurged... $2200. My mom and then fiance talked me into getting it, I was dead set that I wasn't spending more than $600 on a dress I'd wear for a few hours, then the one I liked the most and looked the best on was $2000. The extra $200 was accessories and alterations.
Shoes - $23 I straight up wore flip flops for the ceremony. I don't wear heels and for the reception I had sneakers on. I just changed into some "nicer" shoes for pictures, that I bought on clearance since I'd never wear them again (and I never did).
Photography - $3000. I splurged there too, I did a photography and videography package with them. I had 2 photographers and 1 videographer. We did our posed pictures before the wedding, when everyone looked their best and for the kids in the wedding before they had a chance to get dirty. In the morning, 1 went with me and 1 went with him. They both did the ceremony and reception. The videographer seemed to somehow be everywhere.
Reception - $18,000... Included meals, liquor (open bar), entertainment, reception decor & flowers, rehearsal dinner and day after wedding brunch and security (state law requires it if alcohol is being served). It also included shuttles to/from hotels they also own if guests were staying at them (and a lot were). The venue also offered a children's menu and that menu was also cheaper than the adult one, for the kids we invited we did a kids menu of things well kids will actually eat.
Flowers - $500. My aunt & her mom did my flowers. We ordered them at a greenhouse and they did the bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres and decorations. I wasn't finding what I wanted/liked at area florists and they're really crafty. Saved money too, I was getting quotes from florists on average $1500. My aunt & her mom wouldn't take any money for it.
Cake - $0.00...... I own a bakery.
Favors - $0.00..... came from the bakery I own.
We covered the expenses for our bridal party. We considered it a wedding expense. After the wedding, the bridesmaids could do what they wanted with their dress but we ended up donating all of them to a charity that redistributes them to girls for homecoming/prom who can't afford a dress otherwise. I donated my dress to another charity that makes baby blankets out of them for area neo-natal units.
Officiant $150 (tip/donation), use of church came with it.
Singer $150 (also a tip/donation, she was the officiants daughter).
Musicians for ceremony & pre-ceremony while seating guests $1000 which consisted of 2 violinists and a harpist from a local symphony orchestra.
Marriage license $20.
We found out from the venue prior to the wedding how many people would be working our event (servers, cooks, security, drivers, cleaning crew, DJ, etc) and we tipped all of them individually. Despite there being an 18% fee on top of our bill for that, I was pretty confident they didn't actually get any of that.
Photobooth $800 .. they were new at the time, common now though.
There's other odds & ends I'm forgetting, but the bulk of the rest of it went to the honeymoon. We bought the rings individually, he paid for mine and I paid for his.
We both got gifts for our bridal party, parents & grandparents individually simply because it was easier for me to pick out gifts for my people and it was easier for him to pick out gifts for his people. They didn't all get the same thing.
Here's some things I regret spending on....
Videography - if it wasn't including in my photography package I wasn't going to get one. Technology changes rapidly so viewing it years down the road will change if not become difficult. Pictures last forever. We've watched the video a grand total of 1 time (when we got it back) and most people I know for their wedding video have the same number of viewings.
Programs - nobody cares who is who in your wedding.
Mini symphony - a piano player or 1 violin would have sufficed.
Fancy invitation (in the end, I think I'm the only one who saved one).
Guest book - I don't even know where it is.
Chair covers - they don't make the chair any more comfortable.
I semi regret the photobooth. We got copies of all the pictures and I saw some things I wish I hadn't. Also it was mostly kids. I did get some good ones of people too though.
I don't regret--
Hand held fans at the church (it was hot, I'm glad my guests didn't melt).
Bottled water at the church (see above).
Trolley - we had fun
Including my husband's sister, sister-in-law and niece as bridesmaids. I've developed great relationships with all of them over the years, that was where it started. When we got married I didn't know any of them that well. His niece just started college.
Inviting kids (we didn't have any issues)
Groom (we're still married)