Let him go, hon. Grow enough backbone not to do this to yourself. Cut off everything. Don t continue talking to him. Don t explain to him what he s going to be missing. Don t wallow in regret about five years wasted. It isn t wasted if you don t allow yourself to make that mistake again. The reason he s holding out any hope whatsoever--such as "if we re getting along, maybe we can get back together"--is so that you will continue to be available to him sexually, but for no other reason. He sounds like a manipulative and selfish loser. You sound as if you suffer from seriously low self-esteem to chase him this long and this hard when he treats you so badly. Please, just end it, move on, and look for someone whose affection is reciprocal. One-sided relationships--you do the texting, the gift-giving-the talking it through, all by yourself--are not relationships at all, now are they. Best of luck.