It's great that you are reaching out for help. We understand how challenging it can be to live with depression. It really does sound like you have been going through a lot. We would suggest using healthy/positive coping skills (exercising, journaling, listening to music, etc.) when you are struggling.
It's so important that you reach out to someone who is close to you such as a parent, aunt, uncle, school counselor, teacher, coach, or minister. Please consider getting evaluated by a medical doctor or mental health professional, and getting involved in counseling. It may help you to talk to a counselor at a hotline. Know that there is help out there for you and you are not alone.
Boys Town National Hotline 1-800-448-3000, www.yourlifeyourvoice.org