I'm not trying to undermine the situation but what else has he done that justifies abuse? Did u spill pasta sauce his shirt so he indignantly called u a slob? I agree, being called a slob is rude but u didn't specify nor address his other forms of "abuse". How did he threaten u? What other names did he call u, what was the context, etc? I'm not suggesting e isnt abusive... but there are 2 sides to the story. Did he threaten to hurt u, or did he threaten to not take u on a trip? We need details.. otherwise people are just assuming bias opinions and u are feeding off it.
When I was your age I dated a girl who labelled me as abusive because I got upset (by raising my voice) when she wanted to go hang out with her 30 yr old male friends at the bar on the weekend, instead of me. All her friends formed bias opinions of me.
Abuse is a word that gets exaggerated, and undermines those who are true victims of abuse.
Not to say u aren't, but we beed more circumstantial evidence.