He's an adult man who doesn't know that he needs to get his shiiiiit together and support his family, and not cruelly insult his wife.
If he's an adult man who doesn't know this basic fact of life by now, then there's nothing you can say or do to teach him. You are not his mommy and not responsible for teaching him how to act like a normal adult.
All you can do is say, "I am very unhappy with the current state of our marriage. To the point where I've seriously thought about ending things. I need for you to do XYZ in order to help fix it. I will help you if you need it. Let me know what you plan to do about it."
But you can only make that threat if you are 100% prepared to follow up on it, and to leave him when (not "if" - WHEN) he (a) refuses to get help, and (b) hurls verbal abuse at you rather than owning his shiiiiit and acting like a grown man.
So, you have two choices here:
1. Prepare to possibly leave him. See a lawyer and get your legal ducks in a row, figure out where you (and the kids if you have them) can stay if he gets violent or if you want to leave the physical home, set aside some money for yourself, and then lay down the ultimatum. And be prepared to follow up on the ultimatum when (not if, WHEN) he tells you to go fuccckk yourself.
2. Get used to him being incompetent, losing his job, refusing to go to therapy, slacking on the bills, and verbally abusing you, because he's not going to change.
Those are your only two options. Either draw a line in the sand and back it up with actions, or keep your mouth shut and accept the fact that this is the rest of your life. There's no magical third solution here where you find the right combination of words to make your husband suddenly see the light and realize, "Gee whiz, maybe I should buckle down at work and not lose my paycheck and not treat my wife like shiiiiiit. Thanks sweetheart, I love you!"