Plenty to read online. Big cities have bdsm bars, clubs . . . there even regional and national conventions, classes, workshops, etc. It's certainly not for everyone but open to men, women, gay, straight . . . . and it's not a free-for-all: there are protocols, ettiquette, rules. Of course, it appeals to those who like to give pleasure or edge on discomfort or pain/humiliation as pleasure ... those who like to be in control and those who like to be controled (made to do kinky things). But if all follow the rules, no one is injured and everyone enjoys physical & emotional pleasure. Think about it: what can be more intimate or more of a committment!