I punched my gf on the nose? ): What can i do to fix it?

Hello. I’ve never the(The opposite sex) before.. but before i say anything else. I know im a nice person. Now i feel evil and abusive. Like a bad guy. I hit my own love of my life! And i feel terrible i want to fix it. Better myself. Me and my girlfriend fight oftenly... its been 8 months now. She hits me every... show more Hello. I’ve never the(The opposite sex) before.. but before i say anything else. I know im a nice person. Now i feel evil and abusive. Like a bad guy. I hit my own love of my life! And i feel terrible i want to fix it. Better myself. Me and my girlfriend fight oftenly... its been 8 months now.
She hits me every day. Physically and puts me down. And i tried to be the mature one and not hit back but calm her down. Its not normal to be abused by ur own gf! But i started over time talking back to defend myself. (Speak up) she always apologies afterwards and says shes gunna treat me better and I believe it. Bc i love her.
Over time i stopped running out of ideas. She controls me. So I decided that i had enough. I wanted to go outside to smoke a cigarette last night bc she was being rude to me verbally. And i can be mean to i know i can be. But she blocked me from the door way and took my phone. I snapped and i hit her really hard on the nose. (Bleeding) She was crying and forgave me automatically. Still i felt terrible afterwards. Today her face is brused badly. I dont want to progress worse into a toxic relationship how can i fix it!): no more fighting. I dont want to be slapped anymore.
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