I feel your pain. You simply have a daughter that hasn't learned how to self-comfort and is more demanding than some others. I would suggest the following:
1. If living in the same room at your in-laws is temporary and a new situation for you, don't try to "fix" your daughter just yet. I know it is driving you crazy, but rather than fight an uphill battle, if you accept this and try to enjoy the closeness, it might be easier in a month or two after you are acclimated in your own home.
2. If your current living situation is going to last for many months, you may still have to cut your daughter a little slack.
3. The bottle has to stop. End of story. Make sure she is getting enough food and hydration throughout the day. She has trained you to give her a bottle at 2 AM. That was fine ten months ago, but not now. You may have to endure some difficult nights, but once she begins to realize that no amount of crying is going to produce a bottle, she will get over it. I think the issue is that you are so eager to get her quite and get back to sleep, that you aren't willing to let her cry it out and have a sleepless night or two to get her past this. Try it over this coming long weekend.
4. It is okay to let a child cry themselves out. It is also okay if you are unwilling to let that happen -- I never could. BUT, if you won't do that you have to accept that your daughter will be a co-sleeper with you and your husband for a couple more years. Eventually, she will develop more coping skills, and you will be able to talk with her about what scares her and that she is okay in her own bed.