Ex wants to take 9 year old son on vacation during my time after never allowing parent time flexibility for me. How do I respond?

My ex and I have a son who is 9. Ex has primary custody during the school year and I have summer. Ex never works with me and always refuses to give me extra time when I ask. Ex just sent me an email. His in-laws (he's married and he and his wife have three kids - 13, 4 and 1). They are doing a family vacation... show more My ex and I have a son who is 9. Ex has primary custody during the school year and I have summer.

Ex never works with me and always refuses to give me extra time when I ask.

Ex just sent me an email. His in-laws (he's married and he and his wife have three kids - 13, 4 and 1). They are doing a family vacation out of state for a week in the summer. The inlaws are paying for everything I guess.

The issue with the trip is: My ex doesn't have our son during that time. So ex is asking me if I'll switch a week with him. He'll give me a week during the school year for that summer week.

I asked why a different vacation time wasn't chosen - ex said he's not the one who planned the trip. It's irritating that my son's schedule wasn't factored into this decision.

If I don't say yes, ex plans to go anyway.

If I say yes, I'm going to be angry that I have to bend for a guy that won't work with me at all.

Ex can't give me an hour when I ask, but expects me to switch weeks with him during the summer - which is the only time I really get to see my son.

If I say no, I'm a mom that wouldn't let her son go on vacation. There's a chance that son wouldn't know. But at 9, he'd probably find out.

Either way is very upsetting.
Update: BTW If you are curious about how ex and his wife have kids older and younger than our son: Ex and wife were separated when we met and then they got back together before my son was born. I didn't break up their marriage or anything. I thought I was dating a soon-to-be divorced man, who then left me when I was... show more BTW If you are curious about how ex and his wife have kids older and younger than our son: Ex and wife were separated when we met and then they got back together before my son was born. I didn't break up their marriage or anything. I thought I was dating a soon-to-be divorced man, who then left me when I was pregnant to go back with his wife. So don't feel too bad for her.
Update 2: David, I like that idea of taking my son on vacation instead.

But I don't have any money to do that. After the child support I pay to my ex, I can barely afford my rent.
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