Should i go on medication?

im 14, a girl and i think im depressed. i have panic/anxiety attacks a lot and i cry some days and i used to be really happy but im not anymore. my friends drink and do drugs so I've found myself doing that too. i have a lot of self hatred for myself due to my choices and history. things used to be really bad... show more im 14, a girl and i think im depressed. i have panic/anxiety attacks a lot and i cry some days and i used to be really happy but im not anymore. my friends drink and do drugs so I've found myself doing that too. i have a lot of self hatred for myself due to my choices and history. things used to be really bad and i couldn't talk or move without being in pain and everything hurt most of the time so i just slept as much as i could. im not suicidal and i don't harm myself, i have too bright of a future for that. i used to be like this a while ago, and my mom suggested therapy or antidepressants but i said no. i don't want therapy-i couldn't talk to someone like that. i write all the time, about anything on my mind and such, and I've been thinking about going onto medication? my parents don't really know much about me-but they think i smoke weed. i always stay in my room and rarely talk to them, so i don't really know how they think im doing mentally. but yeah, I've been thinking antidepressants or medication will help me? i just want to be happy again, i feel awful for having my friends deal with me. suggestions?
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