You're not a jerk for wanting to just be friends with her, and for not wanting her to lead you on or play mind games with you (intentionally or not).
Just talk to her - "I'm happy to be your friend, and I respect your decision not to get into a new relationship right now. But if we're just going to be friends then I don't want to cuddle or go on 'not dates' or anything like that. We're either Just Friends or we're something more - I don't like the in-between. I'm happy to hang out with you, but I feel like I'm getting mixed signals from you. Let's talk about it and figure out what we both want out of this friendship."
And then you can talk about things like the cuddling, each of you paying your own way when you go out together, etc.
It doesn't make you a jerk to set boundaries with someone, whether you're romantically interested in them or not. That goes for friends, family members, and girls you're dating. If something makes you uncomfortable or unhappy then you need to speak up!