My Girlfriend was Abused but She's too Clingy?
I'm 28, she's 27. Her first boyfriend severly abused her (sexually and physically), I'm her second boyfriend and she often gets scared of things and needs comforting.
We had an argument earlier because she was scared of the storm outside, I told her it would be fine and we cuddled (she was crying on my shoulder for about an hour). A few hours later, the weather calmed down and I had to go to work, she knew this but refused to let go of me.
Long story short, I got so frustrated that she wouldn't let me go that I pinned her to the sofa and threatened to hurt her :( she cried and ran upstairs, locked herself in our room.
I went to work and was only there for a few hours, I got back 10 minutes ago and she's still in our room. She won't let me in and I'm scared that I've really hurt her and broken her trust.
Should I just wait for her to come out or try to encourage her? I don't want to scare her anymore.
- 4 years ago
Sit at the door and tell her how much you love her and that you would never hurt her, and that you just got frustrated, but that you will never do that again, and say come on, come out so we can go out o eat (at her favorite restaurant), And explain to her that counselling is important to mak eher not be so afraid, to let her live a comfortable life.
- Jadzia DaxLv 74 years ago
She needs a psychiatrist
- JameyLv 74 years ago
She sounds damaged and that she would benefit from some sort of counselling or cognitive behaviour therapy. Wait till she emerges (which she will have to eventually) and then accompany her to the doctor.
- 4 years ago
Im sorry to hear what had happened to her, however your reaction will resonate with trauma shes had in the past. This may make it very difficult for her. Wait untill she calms down because while she is upset she wont be thinking straight. Apologize, talk about your feelings with her (explain a flaw of your own that will make her feel like its okay that shes upset and has these scared feelings). Find something for her that will comfort her when your're not there. Like how a child has a blanket. Probably something that smells like you, like a hoodie with your cologne or something. By having something like this to hold onto she will let you go to work.
Hope shes alrightSource(s): My current girlfriend was traumatized as a child. Unhappy story dont wanna spoil your day further with it XD
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- 4 years ago
Tell her you were sorry and being irrational and you were a little mad cause you had to go to work so you can make a living for you two and ask if she can unlock the door but she doesn't have to and you're willing to stay outside the door till she's okay.
- Anonymous4 years ago
You threatened to hurt her and you're complaining about her? I think you're the problem man.
- Coach SimonLv 74 years ago
You need to apologise for your insensitivity - even if don't really feel a need to apologise. That said, threatening her was not the best idea, was it?
She would seem to be in need of some therapy; find a victim support group in your area or on the net.
- Uncle PennybagsLv 74 years ago
Dude, you need to break it off with this woman. Do you really want to be dealing with her emotional trauma the rest of your life?
If not, you need to insist that if she wishes to be your GF, she needs to start getting some counseling to get over her fear.
For right now, she will come out eventually. Just let her be until then.
- 4 years ago
Apologize sincerely through the door and wait for a response. If nothing then tell her comfortingly that you'll be in the living room or kitchen or wherever when she's ready to come out. Reassure her that it's safe and that you did not mean to react that way. Her behavior sounds like a real tough problem. It seems like a lot of things are causing her anxiety and fear. She may have to speak with a counselor. Someone who can help her heal from her past so she can learn to trust you fully.
- myfavouritelucyLv 74 years ago
She sounds ridiculous and so do you. A pair of children. If this whole thing is true, of course.