Porn and masturbation addiction will god forgive me?? for christians?

ok this question not for the athiests sorry I know wat yur gona say gods not real its okay to mastubateand watch porn etc etc pliz guys thanks but this is for the believers. okay I know its embarrassing and as much as I wana not look at myself I am addicted to porn and masturbation I am not curreny a Christian I as... show more ok this question not for the athiests sorry I know wat yur gona say gods not real its okay to mastubateand watch porn etc etc pliz guys thanks but this is for the believers. okay I know its embarrassing and as much as I wana not look at myself I am addicted to porn and masturbation I am not curreny a Christian I as hoping to e baptised but not until I can stop this addiction I feel so embarassd that I even though I want to e loyal to god I cant this addiction is taking me away from the lord almighty no matter how many times I pray and say forgive me god I wont do it again I ask him for strength but I just fall into evil trap again. I currently am suffering from a stomach disease which I guess I deserve after how much I have hurt the lord by going against his words and I thought the god would heal me and show me the way but now I feel like I have put the lord down too much and he has turned his ears away from my prayers and wont listen to me or heal me or help me overcome addiction ?? how can I gain the lords love back and how can I be assured he is with me and still loves me even though im a sinner who keeps repeating it, im tired guys I wana be born of god im so lost. thanks for listening god bless u all
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