Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 7 years ago

Please answer :) I can't understand why my ex girlfriend broke up with me for being clingy?

Maybe I screwed up by not giving her enough space and making myself too needy, but all I was trying to do was be affectionate by wanting to see her, show her how much I care for her, show my over protection for her etc. All just to show her that I care. I just wanted to make her feel special. Why is being clingy a risk in a relationship?

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  • 7 years ago
    Best answer

    I know exactly how you feel, I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing. People just stereotypically think that men have to be butch and macho and have to act like jerks to be compatible and when they get someone like that, they're always unhappy and say "Why can't I have someone sensitive and sweet?". It's really annoying because every time a girl gets a "nice guy", she leaves them or abuses them.

    I'm exactly how you described, I always treat my girlfriends like they're the only one on the planet, I do everything I can to make her feel like she's in heaven and all I get is her telling me that I'm "smothering" her!

    Women are like cats, they just want a little bit of attention and once they have it, they go back to wherever they came from.

  • nissie
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    I suppose that it doesn't matter if her ex bf loved her, she thought he did. Maybe he did, possibly not, but either manner he treated her like grime. And that sh*t HURTS. It takes a very long time to recover from, and the grief and heartache can lead you to do matters you'll under no circumstances do or else. That being stated, you should hold an eye on it. Nevertheless it would not make her a bad character. And do not be so rapid to expect that given that she instructed you the reality, that she loves you already. One does not always follow the other. Telling the entire actuality only units the stage for a viable love. It doesn't suggest she already does love you, necessarily. You can not have a love relationship without honesty and trust. You will have to simply watch out that she's no longer too much of a dreamer in relation to her expectations of a relationship. If she was once inclined to take him back after he cheated with her quality pal, and then he known as her names and spit on her, and used her.... She in most cases had unrealistic expectations of this guy. She could have the equal for other relationships too, together with yours. Just make certain to at all times hold the strains of verbal exchange open, specifically with regards to tricky things. It sounds such as you two are doing well at that so far. And really, for those who care about her, she was once sincere, and he or she hasn't executed whatever like that since, then she's now not a skank. And even though other people proposal she was, what does it matter? So long as she's excellent to you, and you're excellent to her, that's all that concerns.

  • 7 years ago

    Because there is a fine line between affectionate and annoying. As much as you liked her, she is her own person and if she's an independent girl, she doesn't necessarily need a guy "protecting" her. It's ok to make someone feel special once in a while, but if its a constant thing it can be suffocating. It also kind of reflects badly on you. It makes it seem like you have nothing better to do with your life than your relationship, whether that is true or not. I don't know the details of your relationship, but if she told you you were too clingy and you carried on, I can 100% see why she dumped you: you disregarded her wishes. However if she dumped you for being clingy and this was the first you'd heard about it, I would talk to her and tell her you're willing to change. Or find someone else to harass.

  • 7 years ago

    Well Dave, I'm afraid the answer is in the question.

    "Too needy", "over protection" and "not enough space".

    All these things would be fine in moderation. In your own words, you were excessive.

    It's good to be affectionate and to show your love, but not to the point where someone feels that they no longer have control of their own life. When taken to extremes, you are describing an abusive relationship.

    I hope that you are not offended by what I have said, it is meant to be helpful, not hurtful but as you can see, there may be a very fine line between what we are trying to do and how it comes across.

    I very much hope that you will be able to learn from this unfortunate experience and that, in future, you have a better experience in your relationships. Good luck.

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

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    Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.

  • 7 years ago

    Gerald is wrong: we do like affection and feeling loved, but either end of the spectrum is the problem with both sexes, too much can be stifling, we all need space, and lack of affection makes us feel insecure - I've been in both types of relationships, the middle way is better - the one I'm in now

  • 7 years ago

    some people need space

    love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight and you'll crush it, too loose and it'll fly away

    you gotta get the right balance

  • Gerald
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    she didn't like you enough find someone that does most women are moaning because their boyfriends are the opposite

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