Rehoming dogs for new baby? Opinions and advice?
I have been debating about this for a while now and I need a bit of help. I have been doing a lot of research about what other people have done, but I would like some advice (or even just reassurance) about my situation. If people can offer advice about what I can do, or share your own experiences, it would be so helpful!
First off, I want to make it clear I'm not just getting rid of my dogs in favor of my baby. I want to make sure I'm doing what is best for everyone, including my dogs. To start off, I have a chihuahua and a cockapoo. Once my husband and I found out we were going to be having a baby, we didn't even entertain rehoming them, we only worried slightly about what people had told us about babies + chihuahuas, but thought we could make it work.
The pups were still young and largely untrained, so I made it my goal to make sure they were up to snuff before the baby arrived. I have worked very hard with them throughout my pregnancy getting them totally house-broken, and even walking with me without a leash to assist with easier stroller walks. Got them used to and loving their crate in case they need to be put away, and got them to spend time with younger children. We got our chihuahua neutered to calm his aggression and territory issues.
Now that the baby is only a few months away, I am feeling increasingly overwhelmed and stressed out by having these dogs, not just for my sake but for theirs.
1. Not enough attention/energy to go around: When we first got our dogs, my husband was a regular nine to fiver. Now he has started in with the military and is gone for 10 -12 hours of the day and mostly burnt out when he comes home. On some weeks he is gone completely mon-fri so now the responsibility of caring for the dogs is 95% my job, which gets harder and harder every day/trimester. I am often too exhausted to keep up their regular schedule and I know I am not giving them nearly enough attention and stimulation as they should get. That in itself makes me feel very, very guilty. My cockapoo humps because she is so bored, and it seems that no matter what I do, long walks, tug time... etc. its not enough. I cant imagine being able to do more once the baby arrives, especially since my husband will start being gone more long term and the dogs will be 100% my job + baby. Again, its not just about me, I look at my dogs every day and feel so overwhelmingly guilty that they are not getting what they need. I KNOW my chihuahua no longer gets his fair share of attention.
2. Also, my husband being with the army means I am not near family which makes things difficult in two ways. I do not have the ability to have family/friends come help me out with the dogs, and if I am feeling like I need support and want to visit family while he is gone long term, I can not do so without planning some care for the dogs such as a sitter or kennel. My family is so far away, that any visit would likely be an extended one. Finding a kennel or sitter for these times is just another added expense to those that already pile in with a new baby. Also, no dog is happy to be in a kennel or with a dog sitter and out of their regular routine. I feel like I wont be able to pick up and go and get the support I need from my family once I'm minus my husband and plus a baby while having the dogs.
3. The dogs still have some training left that I'm not sure I can handle in the time I have left. They are still bad about jumping, sitting on me whenever they want, often tripping me up when I walk or just deciding to sit/sleep on me while I watch tv. I have tried working on this and they have become a lot more obedient in getting down when I tell them, but they still don't just stop, and I'm sure it's often because I'm too exhausted to do anything about it.
I dont want my dogs to suffer because I can't admit they need more than I can give them. I love them and I would rather them be somewhere they can get what they need, rather than be with me and neglected.
I really need advice and opinions. Everything I have read online says I can make it work, but I don't feel like I can. Am I right, or simply overwhelmed and making a mountain out of this because I'm emotional & pregnant? I've tried talking to my husband, but because he's not here, he doesn't understand fully the work they take. I've tried to talk to my family, but they offer little or no real advice because none of them own dogs.
I'd like to hear from people who own dogs, love their dogs, are in a military family with pets who might have an opinion, or even just mothers whose husbands are gone a lot. How did/do you cope with your pets? Do you think it's a good idea to re-home my dogs, or am I just missing some vital information?
Thanks for reading and your help! :)
I would like to add there ARE breed of dogs that work better than others when you have a baby. I dont neccesarily feel like my dogs fall into that category. Also dont mistake the aspects of another situation for mine. Having other situational circumstances (like private land for your dogs to roam and play) makes a huge difference. I dont have that benefit. I explained my situation so that I could get advice for my circumstances, not the circumstances of others. I am a dog lover and have fostered dogs, cared for and trained dogs.
I asked for advice. That means helpful information and suggestions. I dont mind someone saying Im wrong just actually give advice. If baby and dog worked for you, what made it possible? Thank you. :)
- 7 years agoFavourite answer
Can I ask you something? What would you do if you seen this:
FREE TO GOOD HOME: 2year old child. Genuine reason for sale, I've just got a new puppy so no longer have the time for the child. Also worried te child may bite or jump on the puppy. Child currently kept in a crate. Needs home by tomorrow or will be put to sleep. Thanks.
You wouldn't do this to a child? So why do you see it as acceptable to do it to a dog?!? I'm not saying your going to put your dogs to sleep or anything, but if you can't dedicate 10years+ to a dog, then don't get one!! -simple as. It is possible to raise a dog with children, heck i was practicly raised by our familys newfoundlands, you just gotta have patience! If you really love your dogs like you say you do, then you would do anything and everything possible to keep them. Your dogs clearly aren't getting enough attention, give them to a rescue shelter with a no-kill policy , or to someone else who actually deserves them.Source(s): Newfoundland Breeder in the ROI.
- i call a do overLv 57 years ago
When I was pregnant with my daughter many years ago, I had an adorable, well trained Jack Russell. I did all the right things - I put all the baby stuff out early, let the dog get familiar, tried to fill the house up with baby smells, and starting walking him while I pushed a stroller. I was ready!! When my daughter was born, my dog would not have it, and every time a door opened - he would run out and just haul ***. His whole personality changed. Since I could not run down the street after him with a baby, and I couldn't let him just run and get hit by a car, my dog went to an older family member who could devote the time to him he was used to having, Life happens. Do what you have to do!! Just please make sure yur dogs go to a caring, loving permanent home - they don't deserve to be bounced around.
- Belgian NutLv 77 years ago
I used to breed and show afghans at the time I had my two kids. So I had a houseful of afghans - show dogs who needed a lot of grooming, exercise, training, socializing, etc., a husband who worked out of town and a new baby plus a toddler. Oh, and an acreage to look after.
Quite frankly, I can't see the problem. If you don't want the dogs, just re-home them and accept that you really aren't a dog person. Dogs aren't the right choice for everyone.
- heartLv 67 years ago
It's not the breeds, it's how they are trained and what your emotional state is (if you are seized with fear, for example, every time your chi looks at the baby, the chi is going to pick up on that and may react in fear aggression)
I love the first answer given. Maybe you are just super stressed. Why don't you try this. Believe for at least 3 months that there is no way to re-home your dogs. I believe you could make it work out.
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- ChyannieLv 47 years ago
i really dont see why u think u need to rehome them i had my dog b4 i had any of my children i now have two he was great when they were born and is now their best friend he lets them climb on them he chases them around the house u made a commitment to the dogs when u got them no reason to get rid of them just cuz ur having a baby
- keezyLv 77 years ago
what would you do if you had a toddler that over whelmed you and discovered you were pregnant?
You got these dogs making a commitment to them when you got them you knew there was the possibility that you would have kids now step up