Help me cope, my mother died yesterday suddenly & family says it's age but I think suicide what say you?

My father committed suicide in 1978, after trying 4 times and finally succeeding. We all knew my mom knew about it. Now, 34 years later my mother dies suddenly and I think she had it planned out as well as my father had, it came to me like a flash! She used her blood pressure meds to overdose, then run to my... show more My father committed suicide in 1978, after trying 4 times and finally succeeding. We all knew my mom knew about it. Now, 34 years later my mother dies suddenly and I think she had it planned out as well as my father had, it came to me like a flash! She used her blood pressure meds to overdose, then run to my sister's place next door screaming that she could not catch her breath, and then rushed to hospital, then writes on pad "Am I Dying yet?". With what she took, that's the first sign, you can't catch your breath, and little by little you start to slow down ever so slowly. Family doesn't think like me, and I'm on the black sheep side, so they won't listen to reason, but I know that my mother committed suicide, not some age thing. She was good for at least 10 more years, she was 82. She was an actress in her youth and even pretended to commit suicide years ago when she was staying at this hotel with her 3rd husband! Scary stuff, but now I have to deal with it alone...but then there are YOU GUYS out there, GO AHEAD WHAT SAY YOU?????? Please answer, all answers no matter how slight or good or bad or ugly will be accepted to help me deal with the facts! Thank you.
Update: I WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE MYSELF BECAUSE I AM BAPTIZED WITH THE LUTHERAN CHURCH and since I am, I cannot commit suicide. Someone asked me that, and I ASSURE YOU I WILL NEVER DO THAT ACT. BUT I DO KNOW MY DAD AND MOM BOTH ENDED THEIR LIVES THAT WAY! MY MOM ONCE TRIED TO DO IT WITH HER 3RD HUSBAND WHEN HE WANTED... show more I WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE MYSELF BECAUSE I AM BAPTIZED WITH THE LUTHERAN CHURCH and since I am, I cannot commit suicide. Someone asked me that, and I ASSURE YOU I WILL NEVER DO THAT ACT. BUT I DO KNOW MY DAD AND MOM BOTH ENDED THEIR LIVES THAT WAY! MY MOM ONCE TRIED TO DO IT WITH HER 3RD HUSBAND WHEN HE WANTED TO LEAVE HER. I AM MARRIED TO A NICE JEWISH MAN, 10 YEARS OLDER THAN I AM, SO I'M IN GOOD HANDS WITH HIM. I AM HAPPY WITH MY LIFE, ALTHOUGH IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS I SEE IT SLOWING DOWN TO A CRAWL AND I DO FEEL SADNESS, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT MY MOM DID THIS AND SHE ALWAYS AID SHE HATED ME http://video4people.blogspot.com TAKE A LISTEN!
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