You are overreacting, in my opinion. Being touched in private places is rude, mean, frightening, humiliating, and may be sexually stimulating to you. You handled the situation well by getting the person to stop and you got away safely. Please do not allow this incident to cause you so much pain. Why are you using this incident as an excuse to drink? That is all it is, an excuse to do what you want to do anyway. What you need to do is accept the fact that some boys or men will attempt to take advantage of a girl or woman. Men just want to have sex more than they want to breathe, sometimes. Most boys and men would never touch you anywhere you did not want them to touch you. Talk to a counselor to find out why you have reacted the way you have. This is not normal or healthy. Look at it this way. If you fell down and scratched your knee on a sidewalk, would you have an unreasonable fear and loathing of sidewalks, need to avoid them in the future, feel like a failure for having tripped, and drink alcohol to attempt to blot out the memory? Of course not. Is there more to the story you have not told us?