My dad is a Crossdresser?
I just found out today that my dad is a crossdresser / bi-gender. He's been dressing up as women in privacy since he was a teen. When he's under major stress. He told me it was liberating for him. And I'm serious. He was gone all night last night, and he rarely ever does that so he told me why. I really didn't know who else to tell because only my mom knows. I don't know what to think or how to feel. It seems different when it's other people and they're open about it, it never feels like a big deal. It never struck me as something to think twice about until your masculine, businessman dad tells you this. I never expected it. I love him just the same but I never thought he'd be trying on women's clothes and binge drinking, chain smoking, looking at porn, etc. It's my dad. Not someone else. He confided in me today. And I could tell he seemed embarrassed and nervous, and almost ashamed. I simply told him I've been seen this stuff from David Bowie since I was 14, I'm pretty comfortable with androgyny now. And we laughed. I think there's a part of me that's just still maybe uncomfortable with it. Because it's so close to home, you know? And it was hidden for so many years. To my knowledge he isn't gay, nor does he participate in anything with other men. Just while he's alone. Nothing perverted. But, you know. Can someone help understand this further?
Thank you all so much! I know guys do it for different reasons. Sometimes it's to feel closer to women, like they feel they're in physical contact with a girl, or sometimes it's to express an "inner-woman" to understand the female gender better. Thank you everyone for your support. I really appreciate it.
- Dr. DLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Okay, this is what you need to know. About 50% of guys would rather die that wear any women's clothing. For them its just a torturous form of humiliation. Then about 40% of guys will cross-dress at some time in their lives, but only as a joke. They think its funny, and they enjoy shocking our sensibilities. Finally about 10% of guys will cross-dress and really love the experience. Are these guys crazy or what?
No, for the most part they are just normal, healthy, heterosexual (yes, about 90% heterosexual) males with one little kink hard-wired in their brain. When they feminize themselves their brain responds by releasing dopamine and other neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and self-identity. It's a fetish. Its a common fetish. Its just as if his brain is interpreting cross-dressing as contact with a female. It affects the reward centers of his brain, so it brings a strong sense of gratification, and it does mimic the addiction response.
Many of these men recall that as a small child they over-valued females - thinking girls were valued more in society than boys. When they cross-dress and they feel those sensations, it brings them comfort a sense of being "okay", and pleased with themselves.
Many men start cross-dressing as teenagers and experience sexual gratification, and stimulation. Then when these same men get older and cross-dress, it is no longer a sexual thing, now it is more for relaxation, comfort, and a sense of self-identity.
It truth, they really don't love to wear women's clothing. They just love the sensations from the release of neurotransmitters. And, they are using cross-dressing as the tool to get their brain to release the neurotransmitters.
Most psychologists do not consider cross-dressing as a problem, as long as they still function normally in society. So as long as they set their own limits and keep it private (in the home), it is no big deal. Of course, it does mimic the addiction response, so he does need to keep this under control, or it can take control over him.
Don't encourage it. Don't discourage it. Just let him know that you love him just the way he is, and you alway will. Most men consider their cross-dressing as a problem - it make them feel guilt and shame. So it is really hard for them to share it with you. So when he talks to you about it, it means he trusts you, and he considers you mature enough to handle this. Great.
- Anonymous8 years ago
Many cross dressers are straight.
Gay men are men that are interested in other men. Therefore gay men usually dress masculinely.
Trans gender people are born one gender, but are mentally another. Trans people are the ones who often have sex changes and who live full time as the gender of their mind.
There is no easy way to adapt to all this. Just realize that time is what is going to help you and that you are not alone. I would say try and meet other cross dressers and people in the lgbt community so that you can learn how others cope. Maybe join a pflag. Or if you are in school - join a gay youth group or gay straight alliance. I understand you are not gay, but you do have a father who is a cross dresser and there are people in the lgbt community who are willing to help you adapt and who will accept you in to their lives. By learning about others experiences, you will gain insights about your situation and get some tools to help you adapt.
Good luck. Everything is going to be OK. Just keep an open mind and heart.
- 4 years ago
This Site Might Help You.
My dad is a Crossdresser?
I just found out today that my dad is a crossdresser / bi-gender. He's been dressing up as women in privacy since he was a teen. When he's under major stress. He told me it was liberating for him. And I'm serious. He was gone all night last night, and he rarely ever does that so he told...Source(s): dad crossdresser: https://tinyurl.im/v5Nhc
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- 8 years ago
Most cross dressers are heterosexual men with a wife and children. It very rarely ever has anything to do with their sexuality, but just their sexual fantasies. When I learned about it in school, it was in the sexual disorder group, along with foot fetishes, etc. I can understand why it's shocking for you, but you seemed to handle it really well! Kudos to you. Just remember that your dad is still the same person and always will be. You don't need to think of him any differently or view your parent's marriage any differently - it's a personal thing and if he shared it with you, you should feel honored.
- AnaLv 44 years ago
Well I would be a little shocked at first because my dad is a computer dork and I just don't see that one coming. BUT - if he was I would not care, I would be excited. I would take him out with me to the clubs and meet more people that were into that, if he wanted. I would love him anyway, he is my father and I want him to be happy
- TaiLv 78 years ago
You said yourself that you're accepting of that kind of thing, so I think you'll get used to it soon enough. It's probably just the initial shock of it being your father that's making you feel uncomfortable. Just be there for him, and I'm sure you'll be fine with it in no time.
- Anonymous8 years ago
I'd probably just buy a hermit crab.
hang in there bby
- Anonymous3 years ago
Some pretty good arguments.