Megan asked in PetsDogs · 8 years ago

Am I heartless for getting rid of the dog?

We've had him for a little more than a year. He is a 14 inch beagle/Queensland heeler mix and was a rescue dog that has SEVERE separation anxiety. Just yesterday, we blocked him off in the kitchen with 2 gates stacked on top of each other, yet he still managed to jump up onto the counter, over the bar area and back into the living room while knocking over soda on my white carpet. He will NOT stay put where he is gated off, even to the point of injuring himself. He even left piles of drool, steaming piles of **** and piss for me to clean up. Nice. I am 39 weeks pregnant with a 3 year old and can't handle this stress EVERY time I come home from leaving him alone.

He doesn't do good in a kennel, either. He drools incessantly, soaking his fur thoroughly. It's disgusting. We've tried several different training methods since adopting him and nothing works. At this point it is not worth it to me to keep him anymore. I told my 3 year old that we are getting rid of him and he is okay with it as long as we promise him a new pet, like a lizard. (way less maintenance).

My husband however was upset that I've decided to get rid of him. He actually cried for a few minutes. We've talked about getting rid of him before, but came up with the solution of my husband doing all the dirty work with the dog (baths, treatments, clipping nails, scrubbing the carpet when he shits, picking up the poop outside on a daily basis) but he never followed through. I can't even let my toddler outside to play because there are piles of **** and its unsanitary. Once again, I'm the one who has to do EVERYTHING. It has made me resent the dog and it is clear that my husband does not want to do the responsibilities, just reap the benefits of companionship. My husband says he understands why I want to get rid of him and that he should have been keeping up with what he said he would do.

We've made arrangements to give him back to the adoption lady already and I can't help but feel SO RELIEVED about how much easier life will be especially with a newborn coming next week. Am I wrong? I feel mean, but then again I'm doing EVERYTHING for this dog so it should be my decision ultimately, right?


Some of you are idiots and I don't think you understand. The dog is potty trained until we LEAVE THE HOUSE...its not that we CAN'T confine him, its that he doesn't do well in confinement and will injure himself to get out of where he is left when I LEAVE THE HOUSE. And I'm tired of cleaning up his drool and ****, its so frustrating that he can't just LEARN to not be scared when I leave.

Renate, you're an insensitive asshole. Giving birth to a child is tremendously different than adopting a pet on a whim. Of course I will not give my baby away. It's my main reason I am getting rid of the dog. and no **** the whole family needs to participate, but they WONT. can't you read?? the responsibilities are falling on ME AND ONLY ME. and I'm tired of it.

K9 LOVER, did you not read how I said me and my husband had talked about the responsibilities before? obviously didn't work because he didn't want to help. that was his chance,

Update 2:

ErgoF, somehow I am the one who is irresponsible and heartless when it's my husband who wanted this dog and now won't take care of it? He agreed to the duties involved and now that they're falling on me, I'm the *****? I don't think so. You just think I'm irresponsible since I posted the question and not my husband.

Lizzie, I have loads of HUMAN friends you stank *****. Thanks for your concern tho :) I think everyone is an idiot because they obviously can't comprehend what I wrote before judging my decision and suggesting things I clearly already stated that I've tried.

15 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    IN 99% of cases like this I would side with you keeping the dog and you just "sucking it up", BUT from reading your question I can tell you are obviously intelligent and completely at wits end. You're doing the right thing here, be at peace.

    PS - You're hubby sounds like a bit of a jerk can you get the adoption lady to take him too? : )

  • 8 years ago

    It doesn't sound as though you're too keen on dogs or animals for that matter. BUT, that's not wrong, it's just who you are. It seems your husband wanted to dog and promised to take complete responsibility for the dog so you just went along. When he fell short on the promises, all the responsibility for the dog fell to you and that simply is not fair.

    Getting animals should be a joint decision. Everyone in the household should want the dog or at least be willing to pitch in to help. When that is not the case, you should not have a dog.

    You have a baby coming and while that's not a reason to give up an animal, it is if you are expected to all the "heavy lifting" so to speak.

    I would suggest that you not own animals that require much care in the future. As I said, you don't seem like the animal lover type (not a criticism, just an observations), and while your husband may want one, he has proven that he doesn't want the work that goes along with that - not fair.

    Since you gave the dog back to the person you adopted from, that's the best thing for the dog. Hopefully he will find a home where everyone there is willing to pull together to get him trained and cared for.

  • 8 years ago

    Yes, you are heartless AND irresponsible, but you don't need us to tell you that or you wouldn't be asking. You probably just want someone to tell you what you want to hear, that you're doing the right thing. You aren't. Dogs require a lot of time and energy but give a lot of love in return. You made a commitment to this dog when you adopted him - he depends entirely upon YOU - and apparently that means nothing to you.

    Train your dog. I mean, actually take the time and hire a trainer. Take him to the vet. People adopt and train and love dogs with separation anxiety every single day. They get better but you have to actually work on it. Your dog is no different.

    "its so frustrating that he can't just LEARN to not be scared when I leave."

    Your dog isn't going to LEARN unless you TEACH him.

    There is no poop fairy. Clean up after him when you let him out. I know you're super busy being pregnant and all, but it's literally about five seconds out of your day to grab a plastic bag and throw it in a trash can.

    PLEASE think about what you are teaching your son: "If a living creature becomes an inconvenience, just get rid of it. Even if your actions might lead to an innocent soul losing its life, that's better than dealing with the problem in the first place." That's really quite the lesson.

  • 8 years ago

    You initially made a unilateral decision to get rid of the family pet and that was wrong. However, discussing what had become a problem dog and reaching an agreement on who should be responsible for doing what for the dog was what you would expect of two mature adults.

    That said, unless you husband worked from home some of the responsibility for training the dog to pass water/empty its bowels was realistically always going to fall on your shoulders, but if he is not doing any of the work involved in caring for the dog, the situation is not a good one for all concerned (including the dog) and it should be returned to the rescue.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 4 years ago

    Why do they want to get rid of him? They might as well say they want to get rid of you!!! At nine months old, your family will be this pups whole world, and all he knows and remembers. /can you imagine how this poor pup will feel when suddenly everything he knows is stripped away from him. I know its not easy in these days to keep a growing pup, particularly one that is going to grow into a big dog......but I assume that your family did some research into this before they bought the pup?? I suggest you sit down with your family and talk to them about this. Discuss with them ways of saving money to help pay for food and insurance ( better to have pet insurance than to suddenly find yourself with a huge unexpected vets bill!!). Make every effort to help train him so that he is obedient and calm.....and much less hard work. With a little help and understanding, you should be able to make them see that they cant just ''get rid''!!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    If you can't take care of the dog properly then yes give the dog to someone that can and will care for the dog as you clearly have no idea how to train animals and from what you are describing you shouldn't have gotten one in the first place . With a toddler and a newborn coming soon you will be spending every waking moment with your newborn and have no time for the dog as far as the 3yr old he doesn't have a say in the matter .

  • 8 years ago

    I personally do not believe in getting rid of an animal because of new children or because of lack of training. The only thing you are doing is giving your problem to someone else to clean up.

    You could start by explaining to your husband that he needs help out if he is so attached to the dog. You need the help of a trainer. Seperation anxiety is hard to get over. It is possible, but VERY hard and takes a lot of work and consistent training. without the full cooperation of everyone in the house it will not work.

    There is no excuse for your child not being able to play outside because of dog poop. Pick that sh*t up! no pun intended. Sounds like hubby doesnt care about anyone in the house right now... except for himself.

    Oh and do not get your son another pet. This is just teaching him that pets a disposable. What is going to happen when he can't take care of his new pet? Just get rid of it and get another one?

  • 8 years ago

    All simple things that can be fixed or are just the basics of owning a dog. But if you are not willing to provide that then yes give the dog back.

    But do not get a new pet. Lizards need basic care too.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Not at all. It's regrettable, but at least you have acknowledged this was probably just a mistake, the wrong dog at the wrong time. He was obviously always going to be a challenge in any case, with with a toddler and another on the way, you just have enough on your plate. It's always down to the woman of the house, with the best will in the world, so your decision to make!!

    I'm sure there will be the right home out there for him.

    Just to say next time WAIT!! Don't entertain having another dog until your children are at least over 5 years.

    Add I can't believe some of the harsh comments you have attracted here - fact is maybe you and your husband should not have entertained getting a dog at this point, and it's sad that he's going to have to find another home (for each one he goes into and out again, he is going to be picking up more 'baggage') but again you have admitted your mistake. And frankly I think the 'adoption lady' was partly to blame for maybe not making the wisest of rehoming decisions. After all your first child was only 2 when you took on this dog, even if at the time you weren't pregnant. And you lot out there can TD my reply here as much as you like. I call it as I see it!!!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You're pregnant and under a lot of stress.

    In your condition, no, it's not heartless, it's for the betterment of your health. Better the dog gone than you having issues w/ pregnancy and emotional status due to stress, that is bad especially for someone in your situation.

    Just make sure, next time, don't get a dog you can't potty train, can't securely confine and can't clean up after when it drools as well as train. While you shouldn't be stress, most of these issues could have been eliminated if you'd just had to time to CLEAN UP after the dog......

    There is sh*t all over the place because you don't clean up after the dog. Of course it's going to be unsanitary, the dog can't clean up after himself and if you'd potty trained him, he wouldn't sh*t in the house.

    THe dog has a past life of probably being neglected, left out, and not included in anything w/ his past owners or humans in general, this could be why he has severe seperation anxiety....crating him and ingoring his whining would have led to him stopping it as he would have gotten used to the crate/kennel. Dogs can't cry forever.

    Bathing, treatments, clipping NOT dirty work, it's BASIC CARE.

    Again, potty training would have eliminated his sh*tting on the floor.

  • 8 years ago

    Yes, you are mean, and should never have any other pet ever. Your children will probably make the same sort of decision about you at some point, they will choose which nursing home you will spend your last sad, lonely days in, right? Just remember the poor dog as you lay in that bed, probably in a ward with lots of others just like you. I hope you live a long, long time.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.