I feel intense loneliness. Am i being immature or what?

I'm a young adult. 21 years of age. Have a graveyard shift job and lost my girlfriend of 5 years. My parents are separated. I stay with my Mom and my little brother. Sometimes I give a portion of my paycheck to them. Lately, I can't get over this feeling of not being loved or cared for. I don't... show more I'm a young adult. 21 years of age. Have a graveyard shift job and lost my girlfriend of 5 years.

My parents are separated. I stay with my Mom and my little brother. Sometimes I give a portion of my paycheck to them.

Lately, I can't get over this feeling of not being loved or cared for. I don't know. I honestly miss how my ex REALLY listened to how i feel (although she was violently abusive). My mom seems to be more distant now that I have a new step dad. She just cooks meals in the house and gives me allowance from time to time if i really need money.

Whenever I try to complain on how my job sucks and that I want to quit. All she says is "I feel sorry for you or poor you". Without doing anything about it. She doesn't have to tell me "Son, I will give you money for your needs and wants". Hell no! All i want is for her to at least REALLY FEEL what I'm going through. I don't get enough sleep. I basically feel unappreciated whenever I give my alloted portion to help my mom and brother. All i get is an empty "thank you". Our quality time is basically just talking about senseless things over the dinner table. But sometimes we do eat outside in the mall.

I hate how she gives me this kind of sympathy "the poor you, i feel sorry for you". Sympathy is for dead people. Empathy is what people need.

My girlfriend who I have been in love for 5 years is an abusive violent woman. Ironically, she's the one who knows how to listen to one's need. I feel tempted to contact her and make up with her but I know i'll just be in another dead end relationship.

My father is also basically living away from us.

I feel like i'm in a catch 22.

I do not know if i am being immature because I should "grow up" and become like an adult and start acting like one. I should toughen myself or be emotionally cold as well. I feel so lonely, I cry every time I get scared that no one really loves and cares for me after all despite of my efforts to love and care for them.

I feel so lonely that i just want to sometimes give up on my hopes and dreams and let someone murder me, or kill me unexpectedly. Then I won't have any thoughts of killing myself.

The intense loneliness is driving me crazy and I know you guys would tell me I need professional help. But please, all I need is just someone to love and care for me.
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