I hurt so much; another failed relationship?

I was married for 18 years, have a 20 year old son. Am 41 now. My ex-husband had the stereotypical midlife crisis, left me, then 2 months later, was like, "Oh crap - I effed upped." Since we were in different countries, we had lots of e-mail communication, then a trial reunification, in which he broke... show more I was married for 18 years, have a 20 year old son. Am 41 now. My ex-husband had the stereotypical midlife crisis, left me, then 2 months later, was like, "Oh crap - I effed upped." Since we were in different countries, we had lots of e-mail communication, then a trial reunification, in which he broke all the ground rules that were set. He left again. When I felt ready to date, I went on about 3-4 dates, just coffee or a drink or a movie - nothing serious or physical. One guy, became friends with, and we met several times for activities, but there was no spark, so we never did anything, not even holding hands or a kiss. And I was fine with that. Shortly after him, I met someone I was wildly attracted to. We were compatible in so many ways, and we were together two years. He helped me through the death of my mother, trying new things (like adventure racing) and we just loved every day together. Now, he's gone back to live in the UK. If he didn't have to move for his business, we'd still be together. It just hurts so much. Not just that we broke up, but that I feel I'm past the age when men really look/care/feel about a woman. Part of me is like, "Ef it, there's more to life that that", but I also know how lovely a relationship can be. I have excellent friends, I do volunteer work, I get counseling, I exercise. Doing all the right things, but still feel so very sad in my core, and don't want to give up on love, even though I know it's not the be all and end all.
My exes and my friends say I am caring, loving, giving, considerate, attractive, make a very good income, I'm a great cook - I'm a very good catch. So why doesn't anyone want to catch me and keep me?
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