Wife is wanting space?

My wife cheated on me a couple of years ago and we worked through it. Since then we've had a couple of ups and downs but have managed to get through. Most of the time she comes home happy and acts like nothing is wrong. However yesterday she came home in a bad mood and I asked what was wrong. She said nothing... show more My wife cheated on me a couple of years ago and we worked through it. Since then we've had a couple of ups and downs but have managed to get through. Most of the time she comes home happy and acts like nothing is wrong. However yesterday she came home in a bad mood and I asked what was wrong. She said nothing at first but finally I got her to tell me. She said she wants space because she feels suffocated,dependent on me like she can't do anything for herself. She said she wants to go out with the girls more often for a night out drinking at her friends house which means she would be staying the night. I said I'm not comfortable with her staying the night and would prefer to just drop her off and pick her up when done hanging out in an effort to compromise on it. She said she wasn't sure if she would want to be picked up or not. She said just wants to go out with the girls here and there and see if that helps her out before we try a separation. She said she isn't thinking divorce and loves me and that there is no one else but just feels suffocated.

A little more info. This happened this past Thursday (yah I got the timeline messed up). I don't use facebook however she does and she has a friend of mine on there but they rarely talk. Anyways he spotted something on there about her wanting someone to text her and her co worker friends saying things like "he doesn't know what he's missing" so that implies to me that there is someone else. When I confronted her about it she said she didn't understand her friends comments either and that it was she was wanting a guy from work to text her so she could ask him something. So I started checking her facebook myself and it was mostly innocent however there was a comment made Sunday where she posted sometimes someone comes from left field that catches you by surprise. All this sounds fishy to me but I would like some other constructive opinions.

I realize it was wrong to check her facebook but when something is wrong and she isn't telling me I'm not left with many options I don't think. Also my wife is bi polar and not on meds. She said yesterday she thinks she needs to get back on them because she doesn't understand why the feelings creep up on her like that when she has (her words) a great husband and a good life overall.

I already told her that if this culminates in divorce that I am done with her because I can't be friends with her and move on with my life at the same time because it would be too painful.
Update: We don't have any kids. My wife isn't capable.

I was thinking about starting to spend more time doing what I want to do and just let her do her own thing for a couple of weeks. it would all make more sense if we had been fighting but just kind of out of the blue really.
Update 2: I've suggested counseling in the past but she's never been willing to do that because she says she doesn't need someone to tell her how she feels or that she has issues.
Update 3: She knows that no matter what she says I suspect there is someone else involved here. If an affair hasn't happened yet then I would like to prevent it and get the help her/we need but she knows if there is one I'm done for good.
Update 4: your right since my friend told me about the post she made I am very suspicious until recently it's the first time I have ever done this in the years we have been together.
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