Should I not let my wife go the school baking competition?
My wife is the most excellent cook in the whole wide universe, her fairy cakes leave nothing to be desired, and she therefore takes part in the school baking competition annually and is a popular and respected competitor. I am a very successful and respected member of our community and our families pride is very important to me and our 5 children who attend the school, however this year my wife has gained a lot of weight, putting on almost 1 and a half stone in the last year, which is a bad influence on our children, which I have had words with her about, and I feel it may be embarrassing for the children to have a fat mother. I have let her know it will be embarrassing for them, and have offered to take her out for a meal instead, shall I insist she shouldn't go?
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
yes - she should go and have fun.
if you are having problems with her weight (and feel that others are) ? you need to work on that - not her.
if she is happy ?
she needs to find the journey to where she wants to be.
- Bruce KLv 69 years ago
Gaining only 20 lbs? and you are worried about what people will think?
It's more about how you think people will view the family because your wife has put on a few pounds. Is it really important to the children or is it important to your selfish version of self esteem. She had five children, she is a great cook, well liked and respected (except by you). YOu feel it will embarrasing for the children, what do the children think. And you haven't gained one pound since your wife married you, or lost any hair, or started wearing glasses?
You are to shallow and I am surprised she is still with you.
Stop putting her down and lowering her self esteem. She enjoys who she is, how she is,and if she can't get respect from you, there seems to be a lot of other people she will get it from.
- jarraLv 49 years ago
Your priorities are screwed up. First of all, what right do you have to not allow your wife to do anything? Do you live in a democracy? Pride is great when you have achieved something but your pride is the false type that comes before a fall. Your wife will be judged by her expertise not her weight & it's her problem not yours. You need more self confidence if you are going to be embarrassed by what someone else does. Your attitude is so unfair to your wife & I feel sorry for you if your whole world rests on this kind of pride. That's not the sort of thing you should be teaching your kids.
- JaneLv 79 years ago
You're going to take her out for a meal!!! I thought you said you felt she was embarrassingly overweight- and you're proposing to feed her more instead of 'letting' her cook for others?
I find it very disappointing that you don't recognise and truly value her status as a "popular and respected competitor", let alone that you are not proud to have her as your wife and the mother of your children. Perhaps you find her success threatening to you on some level? If you were secure in your own sense of pride in yourself, you would embrace her for who she is, and see her as others see her- popular and respected.
I hope for your wife that she can continue to build her confidence by spending time with those that don't feel ashamed of her, and that you can manage your own issues in such a way that you will not undermine her self esteem even further. Surely you must know that by showering her with your embarassment in this way you are only contributing to her poor body image, and that this will only cause her to gain more weight?
I am sure she is secure in the love of her children- it's your love that is in question.
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- Anonymous9 years ago
You should be proud of her for her. She seems to be a great cook and she should show that to the world. She isn't going to be judged by the way she looks at this compentiton. This is very cruel and mean of you to do this to her and to say this to her. She's had 5 CHILDREN of course she is going to gain some weight, and you need to tell your children that it isn't okay to be embarrassed by their mother because she gained weight. The majority of women do gain weight, you act like your so perfect you seem far from perfect your a PIG! If I were her I would leave you!
- Anonymous9 years ago
You sound very rude and insensitive and you should not "insist" that she shouldnt go. First of all, if your kids are embarrassed then thats because of bad parenting. Everything isnt about looks, you know. 2nd, even if you "insist" she doesn't go, she will go if she wants to badly enough. You can't make her not go, you don't own her. And 3rd, get some respect for your wife. So she gained a bit of weight, big whoop. Dont point it out and make a big deal about it, if it bothers her or its dangerous to her health then offer to go for a run every morning or buy a treadmill and excersize bike for the family and offer to excersize with her.
- C.M. CLv 79 years ago
Hoyt, your a self opinionated embarrassment to us males. How dare you come on here and speak about your wife like that. You should be lucky to have a woman like that, like I am to have my wife. You don't insist nothing, but give her all the encouragement under the sun. The only bad influence is you, and how big of you to offer to take her out for a meal. Go and hide your head in shame.
- 9 years ago
What on earth are you thinking about, your the one that's embarrassed not your children, why shouldn't she take part you are thinking about yourself and no one else
I would suggest that the reason that she has gained weight is because of you and your attitude shes probably unhappy with your attitude
She would be better off without you if all you think about is your embarrassment
- 9 years ago
I think that you should stop being so selfish and you should let her do what she enjoys. And so what if she has put on a few pounds? and if you and your children really loved her, then you would worry about her health rather than what people think about her. why don't you just stop being selfish? people like make life miserable for others because you think that life is just some big popularity contest.
- ginarene71Lv 59 years ago
Seriously? How would you be able to stop her? Maybe you should stop trying to control your family with food instead. you should support your wife in whatever effort she decides to make, trust me it will work out better for all of you.